Question: I have twin girls, 8 months old. They slept with me for the first 6 months, and we have since tried to put them in their own beds at night. They nap in their beds each day on a pretty consistent routine. They learned quickly to get themselves to sleep but seldom sleep more than one hour.

At night, I am not sure what to do when one wakes. I go to the one who is crying and try to help her soothe herself, but if she doesn't do so right away, I feel like I need to take her out of the room before the other one is awake, too. It is a real dilemma. Some nights I am up every 20 to 30 minutes.

Should I let them cry a little longer — and wake the other one? I am so tired. — D.B., via e-mail

Answer: Some people allow twin babies to sleep together and find that it works very well: The babies comfort each other when they wake up every three to four hours at night and then learn to get themselves back down to sleep.

If you are really afraid that they'll wake each other, put them to sleep in different rooms — if you have enough rooms to go around! Then you can plan to teach each one how to get herself back down to sleep. (For suggestions on how to do this, see our new book: "Sleep: The Brazelton Way," Perseus, 2003.)

We don't think that letting them cry it out serves any purpose. Instead, sit by them to comfort them quietly, without taking them out of their cribs.

Helping babies learn to sleep through the night takes time, and it certainly is exhausting for parents.

Question: With interest I read your recent advice about a slow-to-talk toddler.

Our son turned 3 in December. Although he talks a lot, it is hard to understand any of it.

His receptive language is excellent, but his expressive one worries us. Sometimes he uses single words, sometimes two- or three-words sentences: "I too." "I am no baby." "You eat."

Upon the suggestion of our pediatrician, he was seen by a speech therapist and his hearing was tested. Everything is all right.

The only conclusion the speech therapist offered us is that our son suffers from a confusion of languages. We are a bilingual family. My husband and our almost-9-year-old daughter speak native English. I am German. Although the family language is English, all of us know and understand German.

The speech therapist recommended that we put our son into a preschool with peers, and she urged me to stop using my native language for the next six months until he has caught up with his language development.

Besides having an emotional barrier to speaking in English to my son, I wonder if I will teach him wrong English because my English is filled with errors and wrong pronunciation. Won't he be even more confused? —D.C., via e-mail

Answer: Often a child brought up with two languages will speak later than other children. In most cases, it is well worth the wait. However, it can't be assumed that this is the reason for the concerns you describe.

Get your child's hearing checked again by a specialized center; sometimes a hearing problem interfering with speech acquisition is subtle and is missed on a more basic test. Make sure the speech therapist is also considering other possible causes.

As an example, sometimes children this age will have delayed speech because they are unable to coordinate the movements of the tongue and other muscles of the mouth and throat to produce vowel and consonant sounds. In some cases, but not all, these children may also have some subtle trouble in coordinating the movements of their hands and fingers. Such an interference with speech (and, when present, the coordination of other small muscles) is sometimes referred to as "apraxia."

Push the speech therapist for more ideas that can help your son — such as talking directly to him, asking him to name what he wants, reading slowly to him every night and urging him to "read" or repeat a bit as you do. But don't give up your own language with him. The speech therapist is right that two languages can slow down a child in learning to speak either one (and this is a likely cause for your current concerns) — but he will.

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The peer group is a great idea, but I'd try to find him a friend and help him cultivate this friendship before he joins the group. It's easier to enter a group with a friend, and other 3-year-olds may shun your son if his speech is delayed. His friend may help him learn to talk.

For more information and help, visit the following Web sites: www.asha.org (American Speech-Language and Hearing Association) and www.apraxia-kids.org (Apraxia-Kids).


Questions or comments should be addressed to Dr. T. Berry Brazelton and Dr. Joshua Sparrow, care of The New York Times Syndication Sales Corp., 122 E. 42nd St., New York, N.Y. 10168. Questions may also be sent by e-mail to: nytsyn-families@nytimes.com. Questions of general interest will be answered in this column. Drs. Brazelton and Sparrow regret that unpublished letters cannot be answered individually.

Responses to questions are not intended to constitute or to take the place of medical or psychiatric evaluation, diagnosis or treatment. If you have a question about your child's health or well-being, consult your child's health-care provider.

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