My family and I lost a premature boy last September. Prior to this life-changing event, frequenting cemeteries was not high on our list of things to do. Since then we've made visiting our son/brother an almost everyday ritual.
There are many wonderful things at the cemetery we visit — neatly trimmed grass, a wrought-iron fence, many trees and a great grounds crew. The community really takes pride in their cemetery.
However, believe it or not, there are some negatives, too. The most notable is people taking items that don't belong to them from graves. My eyes were opened. I just couldn't believe someone would even think of doing such a thing. Do these people know that things on headstones have sentimental value to certain families? During these lean times, meeting financial obligations can be difficult. I'm in that situation, and to purchase any little item to remember my son is somewhat of a sacrifice.
The first incident happened sometime before Christmas of 2002. My wife and I wanted to make a special bouquet of white artificial flowers, with the intent of using it over and over throughout the years. So we went to a craft store and hand-picked our arrangement. We ended up spending about $10-15. It looked great!
Apparently someone else thought it looked great, too. The floral bouquet was on our son's headstone for a little more than a month. Then one day when I went to visit him, the bouquet was gone. I thought someone was pulling a prank, so I went around the cemetery looking for his bouquet. I looked in rubbish bins, the cemetery dump and on other graves, to no avail.
I was very upset that someone would actually steal something from a sacred place like the cemetery. I talked to the cemetery's office manager. She told me that things like this always happen. Sometimes they catch the culprits, but most of the time they don't. She told me it is unlawful to steal in the cemetery, and persons caught can be prosecuted.
She said her neighbor told her that high school and college students frequent cemeteries to find free flowers for their dates. Since this was during the time of winter dances, I was even more furious. Imagine trying to impress your date with stolen flowers.
The second incident happened almost a week after this Memorial Day. Prior to Memorial Day, my family wanted to create a pot of beautiful fresh flowers. So we went to a local greenhouse and each picked out our own flowers. The arrangement included mums, petunias, geraniums, snapdragons and even cat's mint that my 3-year-old son picked out himself. This was a special arrangement because we all had our own flowers.
After the holiday, the arrangement was to be replanted in a little garden (dedicated to our son who died) in our yard. I would water the arrangement daily at the cemetery so that the flowers would be nourished.
The Sunday after Memorial Day, guess what? Yep. The flower pot with its beautiful arrangement was stolen. Memorial Day seems to be a big deal here in Utah, and the cemetery was beautified with lots of floral arrangements. It wasn't like our arrangement was the only one there. The thief or thieves seem to stake out the ones they like. Have they no respect for the dead?
The cemetery where my son is buried has signs stating when the groundspeople would be taking items to the cemetery dump. We make sure we are there to retrieve our items before it happens.
I know it will never happen, but I would like to see stealing in the cemetery stop. People who have loved ones in cemeteries return and pick up what they've purchased. If thieves can't control their compulsive behavior, at least wait till everything is placed in the dump. Then you can have at it — like an overeater at Chuck-A-Rama.
Otherwise, leave things alone. Some items have tremendous sentimental value. You have no right to take that value away.
Kekau Arakaki is an information and technology manager at UVSC.