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Dear Abby: Work colleague’s affairs should be her own business

SHARE Dear Abby: Work colleague’s affairs should be her own business

Dear Abby: My boss hosts occasional after-hours get-togethers with both married and single co-workers. I am married, and a recent conversation with one of the single women bothered me.

"Yvette" told us that she has been in contact with an old lover, "Luke." She said that while they were together, he'd had a girlfriend but would see her "on the side." Yvette said she hadn't talked to him for more than seven years. She wasn't sure whether or not she should start seeing him again since he had always been a "skirt chaser."

We left that evening knowing more about Luke than we cared to — his last name, where he works and other details. The next day, I called his office under the guise of being a friend of Luke's. I said I needed the information to invite him "and his wife" to a party. The receptionist gave me his wife's name and their address.

I checked the phone book. Sure enough, they're listed. I'm not sure Yvette knows Luke's married. Should I tell her? — Wondering in San Antonio

Dear Wondering: Mind your own business. Yvette's "affairs" are not your own.

P.S. Your letter illustrates why after-hours office gatherings can be a legal liability for businesses. After the drinking starts, tongues loosen and propriety is usually the first casualty.

Dear Abby: My husband, "Jasper," and I have been married for a little more than a year. He was diagnosed with cancer a few months before our wedding, and I spent our honeymoon sitting by his side while he was recovering from surgery and chemotherapy. Thankfully, he is in remission, and we are expecting our first child.

Jasper recently brought home a large dog with long hair. He knows I have suffered from allergies my whole life. My in-laws tell me I don't "seem" to be so allergic, and after the baby is born I should just medicate myself for the rest of my life. My in-laws also think I should be the one to care for the dog because Jasper "works all day." (I also have a full-time job.)

I feel like I am being made out to be the "unreasonable dog hater," and it's stressing — and sneezing — me out. What should I do? — Red Eyes in Skokie, Ill.

Dear Red Eyes: Stand your ground. After all your support during his health crisis, your husband is showing a surprising lack of concern for your own health and feelings. Do not hesitate to tell him what's on your mind. Inform him that he has one week to find that dog a new home, or HE will be sleeping in the doghouse.

Dear Readers: I am pleased to announce that the author of the poem "Ode to Myopia," which appeared in my column last December, has been located. Its correct title is "Mirror" and the author is Cary Fellman.


by Cary Fellman

My face in the mirror

isn't wrinkled or drawn.

My house isn't dirty,

the cobwebs are gone.

My garden looks lovely

and so does my lawn.

I think I will not

put my glasses back on.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. © Universal Press Syndicate