Our cheery topic for today is the corpse-selling scandal at UCLA (Undocumented Cadavers Lying Around).

Unsavory entrepreneurs — Ghouls 'R Us? — are accused of selling cadavers and body parts on the black market, and I hate to think that one day my gallbladder could wind up on eBay.

Or this: "UCLA announces its spring clearance sale on used bodies and parts! Everything must go — brains, livers and spleens all at low, low prices!" And you thought your Aunt Martha was resting peacefully.

Donate your body after you're dead — but at UCLA, there's a price on your head.

What worries me — with such widespread trafficking of dead people — is how many of them will end up in Florida in time to vote?