Nothing to sneeze at
Cubs slugger Sammy Sosa missed Sunday's game due to back spasms.
But that's not the story. The story is that he triggered the injury by sneezing too hard.
"It would have been better if I had hit off the wall or we have a fight or something, but this . . . you know what I mean?" he said. "What can you do?"
Um, take a Claritin?
Grateful Luke
You got money. You got a sports career. You got a dad in the Hall of Fame.
And if you're Luke Walton, you got a chance at a very famous date.
The Lakers forward learned via a TV gossip show last week that Britney Spears has a crush on him.
Apparently, the feeling's mutual.
"I've had a crush on her for a long time. I'd sit her as close (to the court) as I could get a ticket," said Walton.
So what does the pop idol see in young Luke? He doesn't make a fraction of her salary, and he doesn't even play all that much.
Must be the Grateful Dead tattoo.
Seriously, what pop star could resist that?
If it ain't broke
News reports say new U. president Michael K. Young, a practicing Mormon, was hired to build bridges. He is expected to smooth over differences between LDS and non-LDS factions on campus.
Fine. Work with students who don't want to curse in school-sponsored plays. Deal with accusations of a hiring bias.
Just don't work too hard on smoothing the sports rivalry between Utah and BYU.
Some things are meant to be fixed.
Others are made to fester forever.
Royal snub
Even when you're paying $2,400 a night, it's sometimes hard to find the right hotel room.
Michael Jordan, who is scheduled to visit Taiwan this week as part of a Nike promotional tour, hit a snag while trying to rent the presidential suite at a luxury hotel.
The reason? The presidents of 15 countries are visiting and the room is booked.
Does this mean we can finally stop calling him "Your Majesty"?
Deal on wheels
Ed Palubinskas, the former Shaquille O'Neal shooting coach, still has a 2001 championship ring the Lakers gave him.
"The team said thanks and that was it," said Palubinskas last week. "I worked with them a whole year. I might just sell that ring they gave me to Karl Malone. I'll take one of his trucks — an 18-wheeler. I can even change the name."
Yeah, but can he downshift on a hill?
Brain teaser
Here's an interesting note: The former head of the Athens Organizing Committee for the Olympics is named Stratis Strategis.
All along I thought that's what Ute players called Rick Majerus.
E-mail: rock@desnews.com