I'm very ambitious and academically gifted. I'm now considering early graduation, but I'm not sure if I'm rushing things too much. I'm not sure if I'm really ready for college. What should I do? —Amanda, 14, Damascus, Md.
It's really a matter of opinion — there is no right or wrong decision. But since you asked for my advice, here it is: Don't rush. Unless you feel that high school is intolerable, there's still stuff that you can gain by staying and graduating with your class. Some of the most valuable lessons in high school revolve around learning how to meet, get along with, lead and resolve conflicts with your peers. Even the annoying situations you get into in high school (backstabbers, etc.) are part of the education.
Sometimes kids who skip ahead too quickly are a bit more socially awkward because they're suddenly thrust into an environment with older kids they don't relate to as well. So think about what else you can still get out of high school. Like, have you ever run for student government? Or started an organization dedicated to a cause you personally believe in? Mentored a younger kid? This way, you'll be even more well-rounded when college time rolls around.
I don't mind guys grabbing my butt or touching me like that. I also made out with a guy I didn't know very well. Does this make me a slut? —Alicia, 15, Newton, Kan.
When someone just grabs you like that, they're being disrespectful. Maybe you're OK with it because you don't feel you necessarily deserve their respect. The same goes for the make-out session. Think about it this way — if you had something that was very, very precious and special to you, you wouldn't let anyone just paw it, right? That's how you should see yourself, because you, my dear, are as special and precious as it gets. I know that sounds cheesy, but it's true. I want you to think about whether you value yourself enough. And if you don't? Create a list of all your best qualities. Ask your mom or friends to help. Then keep that list next to your bed and read it every morning and night. Because this isn't about you being a slut or anything like that. It's about not realizing your incredible worth. You're pretty terrific, Alicia, and I'd like to see you treat yourself that way — and to expect that same respect from others.
I'm embarrassed of my house and family cars. I'm afraid my friends will look down on me. What should I do? —Aimee, 15, Castle Rock, Colo.
I can relate. I remember when I was like 13, this girl from my school came up to me once and was like, "Are you poor?" (Hello?! Who asks that??) But what's CRAZY about it is that I just bumped into that same girl yesterday for the first time since high school! I still wanted to punch her out. (I'm joking! No restraining orders necessary.) Anyway, here's what I wish I had known when I was in your age: Anyone who judges someone based on material things is the low-class person — not vice versa.
If a friend criticizes or looks down on you because your family doesn't have the nicest "stuff," then they are not the caliber of people you should be associating with, because being that superficial is completely uncool. Your parents have worked hard to give you everything that you do have. Don't let anyone dishonor them that way. And if you don't want your friends to judge them inappropriately, you shouldn't do it either. Always keep the less superficial things you love about your home life top of mind. Those are the things to value and treasure. Not fancy cars — they break down anyway!
Questions may be sent directly to Atoosa Rubenstein at: dearseventeen@hearst.com. Atoosa Rubenstein, the founding editor of CosmoGirl! magazine, is the editor in chief of Seventeen magazine. © King Features Syndicate Inc.