BOSTON — We now return to our regular programming. The aliens have left. The natives are back. The parking spaces have disappeared again beneath four-wheeled creatures. And the citizens of Boston were rewarded for their good behavior with a free production of the play aptly named "Much Ado About Nothing."
Much ado. Much adon't. Before the entire convention disappears into our attention-deficit-disordered memory hole, allow me to return to the magical moment when push came to "shove it."
Yes, that moment when Teresa Heinz Kerry, known as Mahogany by the Secret Service, told the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review's Colin McNickle to take his question and you know what. These two little words were heard more widely than her 22-minute speech, especially since the networks ran "NYPD 24/7," "Amazing Race," and "Law and Order SVU" instead.
In case you missed it, the flap began at a meeting when THK mentioned "un-American traits" creeping into politics. McNickle then asked her what she meant by "un-American activities." She took offense at his McCarthy spin and then came back and let it rip. And ripple.
This was widely analyzed as evidence of the Teresa-being-Teresa problem. "The Daily Show's" Jon Stewart wrapped up the commentary this way: "She is a loose cannon. She is a maniac. I've seen it. She has a suit stitched out of Dalmatians."
As Alex Jones, head of the press and politics program at Harvard, says sardonically, "You never go wrong telling the press to shove it." Bush and Cheney didn't exactly lose votes in 2000 after Bush was overheard calling a New York Times reporter an a--hole.
If my reader e-mails were typical, reactions were split between those ruing Teresa's "unbelievably arrogant tone, abrasive attitude and her hostile offensive remark" and those ruing the treatment of "an independent, powerful and wealthy woman who isn't afraid to speak her mind."
Nevertheless, there was much less ado about the background that led up to the shove. Colin McNickle, who portrayed himself as "a little uncomfortable with all this attention," said he was here to "report the news, not make it." He added, "All I do is ask the questions."
That's rather charming, if disingenuous. Coming to Boston, the columnist and editorial page editor promoted his adventure into Democratland this way: "What happens when a conservative commentator infiltrates the Democratic National Convention? An outbreak of the truth. It's a dirty job dealing with liberals, but somebody's gotta do it."
Far be it for me to criticize an opinion writer. We Report/ You Decide/ I Don't Think So. But Colin McNickle ain't no David Broder.
And while I wouldn't tarnish a reporter or columnist with the opinions of his publisher, it's notable that the owner of the Tribune-Review is Richard Mellon Scaife. He's that fair-and-balanced guy who never met an anti-Clinton conspiracy theory he didn't fund, including the theory that Vince Foster's death was a murder plot to protect Hillary and Bill.
McNickle, a sensitive soul, now complains that the "liberals did their best to demonize not only me but the Trib." Can't he imagine any reason for being seen as a demon — at least a troll — on pages that have routinely trashed both Teresa and "Mr. Teresa Heinz"?
Demons for sale? How about an anonymous and scurrilous story in the Tribune-Review in 1997 insinuating that a woman had affairs with Bill Clinton and John Kerry — "Far from giving all to Bill, there was still something left over for Sen. John Kerry"? How about attacks last year on Teresa on the phony grounds that she funded some violent radicals through the Heinz Foundation?
At some point, heck, a gal could get ticked off.
It even happens to a Cheney. No, not that one. Lynne Cheney, the darling of the right, was heard lighting into a C-SPAN reporter who asked Dick about rumors he'd be taken off the ticket.
"Shove it" wasn't the best postscript to a speech on civility. And Teresa's definition of "un-American," when she finally gave it on the "Today" show, was pretty wifty. But which would you rather be? A civil-ian or a doormat? The push came before the shove-it.
I'm afraid it's going to be this kind of a season. Monday, when a heckler yelled "four more years," THK replied, "They want four more years of hell." Her husband quickly (and nervously?) added, "Wasn't Teresa great? She speaks her mind. And she speaks the truth."
Meanwhile, Bush finally came up with his own re-election gambit. At a stop in Teresa's hometown of Pittsburgh, he told the crowd "perhaps the most important reason" to vote for him: "so that Laura will have four more years as first lady." Hmm, do we have a George problem?
Ellen Goodman's e-mail address is ellengoodman@globe.com.