PROVO, Utah — Ideals are valuable guides in life, President Thomas S. Monson, first counselor in the First Presidency, told young adults at the Church Educational System fireside Sunday, Nov. 6.
During the fireside, which originated from the BYU Marriott Center and was broadcast via satellite to many other locations throughout the world, President Monson asked, "What ideals, when followed, will bring to you those blessings you so much seek, even a quiet conscience, a peace-filled heart, a loving family, a contented home?"
Then he said, "May I suggest these three: Choose your friends with caution, plan your future with purpose, frame your life with faith."
Prior to speaking about those ideals, he stated, "I can't stress too strongly that decisions determine destiny. You can't make eternal decisions without eternal consequences.
"May I provide a simple formula by which you can measure the choices which confront you. It's easy to remember, more difficult to apply: You can't be right by doing wrong; and you can't be wrong by doing right. Your personal conscience always warns you as a friend before it punishes you as a judge."
He elaborated on the three ideals that will bless lives.
First: Choose your friends with caution
A survey conducted in wards and stakes of the Church indicated that persons whose friends married in the temple were more likely themselves to be married in the temple than those whose friends did not marry in the temple, President Monson said, adding, "The influence of one's friends appeared to be an equal or even more dominant factor than parental urging, classroom instruction or proximity to a temple."
He advised, "Beyond your circle of earthly friends, I urge you to make a friend of your Heavenly Father. He stands ready to answer the prayer of your heart. Being the Father of your spirit, and having created you in His own image, knowing the end from the beginning, His wisdom will not fail and His counsel is ever true. Make a friend of Him."
President Monson added, "There is another important friend you should have, and that is the bishop of your ward."
Recalling the time he was a bishop, he told of a young couple in love who were struggling with temptation. He asked them to call him, any time of the day or night, if they faced temptation, and they did. He said he and his wife, Frances, were both filled with relief when the couple married in the Salt Lake Temple.
He stressed to each member of the college-age congregation that his or her bishop "has been called of God by prophecy and the laying on of hands, by those who are in authority. He is entitled to Heavenly help in providing you with counsel and guidance. Make a friend of him."
Second: Plan your future with purpose
President Monson recalled a time he and Sister Monson planned with a purpose to help some still-single sisters who had served under his direction when he was a mission president in Canada. They invited the four sisters to their home and let them go through photos of elders from the mission to find one each to invite to a special "fireside." Choices were made.
"We went forward and invited the chosen four young men to join these four young ladies in our home, and we had a glorious evening," he said.
Out of that evening, one of the couples fell in love. He said, "They have now been married for 42 years, have five children and many grandchildren."
President Monson also spoke of Lucy Gertsch who planned her future with a purpose. He said that when he was a young boy, he had her as "a very special Sunday School teacher."
He related, "Lucy was lovely and ever so sweet. She was deserving of a worthy companion, yet none had come her way. The years flew by and Lucy was becoming resigned to the fact that she would never marry. And then, when she was in her mid-40s, she met Dick. It was a case of love at first sight. Just one problem: Dick was not a member of the Church. Did Lucy succumb to the age-old fallacy of marrying out of desperation, with the fleeting hope that one day he would become a member? Not Lucy. She was wiser than this. She simply told him. 'Dick, I think you're wonderful, but we would never be happy dating each other.'
"'Why not?' he countered.
"'Because you're not a Mormon.'
"'How do I become a Mormon? I want to date you.' He studied the gospel. She answered his questions. He gained a testimony and was baptized.
"Then he said, 'Lucy, now that I'm a member, we can be married at last.'
"Lucy replied, 'Oh, Dick, I love you so much. Now that you are a member of the Church you wouldn't be content with anything but a temple marriage.'
"'How long with that take, Lucy?'
"'About a year, if we meet the other requirements.' One year later Lucy and Dick entered the House of the Lord.
"Lucy lived the truth of the verse:
Dare to be a Mormon;
Dare to stand alone;
Dare to have a purpose firm;
Dare to make it known."
Third: Frame your life with faith
"Amidst the confusion of the times, the conflicts of conscience and the turmoil of daily living, an abiding faith becomes an anchor to our lives," President Monson said.
He cited the example of early pioneer Catherine Curtis Spencer who, with her husband and six children, left Nauvoo with the Saints. On the trek west her health failed, and her husband, Orson Spencer, wrote to her parents in Boston, asking if she could return to live with them until he established a home in the west. They replied that she could come if she renounced her faith. Sister Spencer refused to do so. Shortly afterward, during a raging storm, with the wagon covers leaking and friends holding milk pans over her head to keep her dry, she closed her eyes for the last time.
"Though we may not necessarily forfeit our lives in service to our God, we can certainly demonstrate our love for Him by how well we serve Him," President Monson said. "He who hears our silent prayers, He who observes our unheralded acts, will reward us openly when the need comes."
He continued, "Should doubt knock at your doorway, just say to those skeptical, disturbing, rebellious thoughts: 'I propose to stay with my faith, with the faith of my people. I know that happiness and contentment are there, and I forbid you, agnostic, doubting thoughts, to destroy the house of my faith. I grant that I cannot explain the miracles of the Bible, and I do not attempt to do so, but I accept God's word. I wasn't with Joseph Smith, but I believe him. My faith did not come to me through science, and I will not permit so-called science to destroy it. When I change my mind about God and His work, only the inspiration of God will change it.' "
President Monson concluded, "When you choose your friends with caution, plan your future with purpose, and frame your life with faith, you will merit the companionship of the Holy Spirit. You will have a perfect brightness of hope. You will testify through your own experience to the truth of the Lord's promise: 'I the Lord am merciful and gracious unto those who fear me, and delight to honor those who serve me in righteousness and in truth unto the end. Great shall be their reward and eternal shall be their glory' "(Doctrine and Covenants 76:5-6).
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