There's a theory in this business of journalism that when a columnist writes short items, odds and ends, he (or she) is bereft of ideas. It's an easy column.

Rebutting that argument would only give it more credence, so before Iaunching into a variety of things that have crossed my desk (or my mind) lately, let me say that I found all of these interesting but wasn't sure I could pad out an entire column on any one of them.

Well, actually, I could. But that wouldn't be so easy.

Steve Allen was a man of enormous intelligence and wit. Though he's not remembered for any particular one-liners, as are, say, Fred Allen ("You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly, and still have room for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart") or Groucho Marx ("I don't care to belong to any social organization which would accept me as a member"), Steve Allen was nonetheless quite clever — especially off-the-cuff.

An example is on the bonus disc of the "Harold Lloyd Comedy Collection" reviewed on this page, a hilarious comment that really hits the mark, and gets the biggest laugh in a half-hour filmed interview with Lloyd that was co-emceed by Allen.

Lloyd is talking about how, in his early silent-film days, he would crank out one short after another — every week: "Then, if we make some bad ones, the others will come fast enough to cover them up."

Allen interjects, "They took your idea and called it 'television.' "

When Robert De Niro did a TV commercial for American Express, I was a bit surprised. But then it also plugged his Tribeca Film Festival.

And we've heard recognizable voices — from Donald Sutherland to Gene Hackman — pitching automobiles. And songs by Bob Dylan, the Who and many others have been used to sell a variety of products.

But seeing Paul McCartney pitching Fidelity Investments, I find myself asking, isn't this the same guy who complained when Michael Jackson bought the Beatles songs and then leased them for commercials?

Speaking of commercials, let's give kudos to Redstone theaters in Park City, for keeping a promise to show no commercials after the lights go down (although you will see ads-on-slides before the lights go down).

And only three movie trailers, or previews, are shown before each film. Even when the studio (in its own sneaky way) attaches a trailer to the front of the film

And speaking of kudos, let's also give a hand to the Century theaters, which now has one of its employees addressing the audience before each movie with a plea to turn off cell phones.

When my wife and I were there last week, he even announced that using the phone silently (to page, etc.) is a distraction to others because of that obnoxious blue light.

OK, the word "obnoxious" is mine.

We were tempted to applaud.

And it worked. Well, somewhat.

We noticed a few people hurriedly checking their phones and shutting them off as the lights went down. But, of course, there's always somebody who has to take a call and chatter as he gets up, makes his way down the row and slips out the back doors to the lobby.

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And speaking of commercials . . . again . . . while I was doing some research, looking for something else, I came across a column I wrote in December 1982, which said this:

"Have you noticed how many theaters are showing commercials now? . . . People might decide they don't want to be subjected to Madison Avenue hype for 10 minutes before they see the film they've shelled out money for. If that happens, they just might decide to stay home, waiting for the latest films to come out on videocassette or cable television (and the lag time is getting shorter and shorter)."

Sounds an awful lot like stories we're reading today — about the movie industry blaming the current box-office slump on ads in theaters, DVDs and cable/satellite TV's on-demand selections — doesn't it?


E-mail: hicks@desnews.com

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