I'm Hindu, and Hindu people have to follow what their parents say. My dream is to become a journalist — I don't want to be a doctor or a pharmacist. I know that a journalist isn't what my parents want me to be, and I don't want to hurt them, but I feel like if I don't chase my dream, I'll never be happy. What do you think? — Priya, 19, Bensenville, Ill.
In my culture (I'm Iranian), like yours, going against your parents is just not acceptable. So you can imagine my mother's face when I told her that I wanted to work at a magazine. I may as well have said I wanted to be a prostitute. Sound familiar? Right. Well, the good news is, today my mom couldn't be prouder of me. Even though I love to tease her about how horrified she was when I made my decision, I'm so glad that she approves of it now, because her opinion means the world to me.
The reason our parents want us to be in more traditional fields is because they understand those fields and believe they can better guide us to success. So you need to honor their wishes by doing your due diligence to really figure out how to make it in journalism.
Here's my advice based on what worked for me: Get a journalism internship (but pick a traditional major — that will throw your parents off. Ha-ha!). That way you can find out for sure that you really do want to be a journalist for a living before you totally rock the boat. If you like it, intern every semester and summer until you graduate. You'll learn more about what type of journalism you are interested in and meet people in the industry. Then by graduation you'll be as set up as possible —with clips and hopefully even a job.
That's what worked for me. All the interning I had done got me a great position after college and gave me the experience to keep getting promoted every year. So my mom ended up not having a lot to be worried about. And once I became an editor in chief (at age 26), she realized that it is possible to be successful in a career like magazines. It's not impossible, sister — just more complicated than how some of our American friends have it. I made it, and so will you. Good luck!
One of my best friends keeps dragging me along when she goes out with her boyfriend. Being the third wheel drives me crazy. If I don't go out with them, she gets upset and whiny. Her parents won't let her have a boyfriend, so she can only see him when she comes to my house. This situation makes me feel used, and it's also very annoying and humiliating. I want to be a good friend, but there are limits. What should I do? — Erica, 17, San Antonio
The next time your friend asks you out as the third wheel, say no. If she gets upset and whiny, change the subject or just tell her to call you later when she's in a better mood. Being a good friend means going out with her and her boyfriend when you all feel like it — not just when they want you to. It's almost as if they're hijacking you! Believe it or not, every time you agree to hang out with them when you're not in the mood, you're hurting your friendship, not helping it. And every time she asks, she's doing the same thing. Break this ugly cycle before you totally resent her and the friendship is ruined.
Questions may be sent directly to Atoosa Rubenstein at: dearseventeen@hearst.com. Atoosa Rubenstein, the founding editor of CosmoGirl! magazine, is the editor in chief of Seventeen magazine. © King Features Syndicate Inc.