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Rock on ...

Up in lights

There are few things more annoying for BYU fans than to see the block U flashing on the hill after a victory. Conversely, there are few things more satisfying to BYU fans than seeing the block U doing nothing.

How about both?

Since the lights flash after both basketball and football wins, consider this: If BYU beats Utah in football Nov. 25, the lights might end up flashing anyway. Why? Because Utah plays Rice in basketball that night.

So the nonflashing could be in effect for just a couple of hours before going back on.

Maybe the Utes should just save everyone some confusion by simply winning or losing both.

Winter wonderland

If this is November, then it's time for bowl projections. What looks to be the most entertaining bowl game?

The MPC Computers Bowl, of course. Experts say it could include Florida State or Miami.

And what could be more entertaining than seeing the players' faces when they realize they're spending New Year's Eve in Boise and it's 35 degrees?

A matter of taste

It was one thing to see tough guy Mike Ditka endorsing Levitra. But now wine?

The former Chicago Bears coach is reportedly starting his own line, which will sell from $10 to $50 a bottle at Costco.

I can see it now, Ditka on TV talking about a "delicious, delicate, fruity flavor with an ever-so-light residue."

He's the bomb

Reports say North Korean president Kim Jong Il is a madman who has his finger on the nuclear button. At the same time, he is said to be a big fan of NBA basketball.

One question: Does he really hate the new synthetic ball that much?

Rocky mountain high

A recent Rock On referenced NBA All-Star Gilbert Arenas, who had high-altitude air pumped inside his home to increase his endurance.

Weird thing is, Arenas could have come to the Jazz as a free agent and had all the high-altitude air he wanted — free of charge.

Nauseating possibility

Two games ago, when BYU took on Colorado State, the TV cameras focused on coach Bronco Mendenhall as he threw up on the sidelines.

You won't see that happen again on TV.

Unless, of course, Utah somehow beats BYU on Nov. 25.

The dead zone

Luis Squarisi of Batatais, Brazil, has a fairly strange hobby — attending funerals.

News stories say Squarisi even quit his job to indulge his passion and has attended every funeral in the town since 1983.

Come to think of it, didn't I see him at Gary Crowton's farewell press conference?

E-mail: rock@desnews.com