PROVO — It is always important to look at the big picture. But it's also vital to remember that often what makes that picture so appealing is the attention to the details, the careful crafting in small areas that adds up to the whole.

That was the message at this year's Family Expo, sponsored by the School of Family Life, the Division of Continuing Education, the Alumni Association and Religion Education at Brigham Young University. The theme for the 12th annual expo was "By Small and Simple Things Are Great Things Brought to Pass."

"Small and simple things make such a difference in our lives," said Josephine Ann C. Oaks, a mother of nine and former Young Mother of America, who, with her husband, Merrill, an ophthalmologist and former member of the Second Quorum of the Seventy of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, were keynote speakers for the conference.

"Parenting is challenging," said Josephine, "because no two human beings are alike." No two children are alike, no two families are alike. What works best for one may not necessarily work for another. And that makes learning parenting skills essential, she said. "Like any profession, you need to study, plan and prepare."

In addition to learning all you can about parenting, she said, other simple but effective concepts include: teaching children that all actions have consequences; teaching children the value of work; making sure children believe in themselves. And, she added, "never forget to have fun with them."

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The challenge, added Merrill, "is to give children increasing latitude as they mature." You can do this, he said, by setting a good example — a happy family "begins with the relationship of the parents."

Be vigilant, but also be loving and kind, he advised. "There is a fine line between effective parenting and coercion.

"Remember the story of the sun and the wind that staged a contest to see who could get a man to remove his coat?" The wind with all its power and force could only get the man to pull to coat tighter. The sun, with its warmth and radiance, soon had the coat removed. "Don't act like the wind," he said.


E-mail: carma@desnews.com

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