A copy of John McCain's upcoming commencement speech at Jerry Falwell's Liberty University has been leaked to me and I am happy to share.
"My fellow fundamentalist voters, I would like to begin by proposing the McCain-Lott bill to make Rev. Falwell's birthday a legal holiday."
"While I don't necessarily agree with the reverend's view that Jews can't get to Heaven unless they convert to Christianity — I believe that I can't get to the White House unless both groups convert to me."
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"Although the reverend dragged me through the mud back in 2000, I will turn the other cheek and . . . urge you to support the McCain-Falwell ticket in 2008."