One victim was 4 months old. Another was an 88-year-old man. They were among 33 Utahns who died as a result of domestic violence in 2005, according to a new Utah Domestic Violence Council statistical report. The report noted an increase of 10 deaths over the previous year. Equally disturbing was the number of children — 31— who witnessed or were nearby when a domestic violence homicide occurred.
This annual report quantifies the scope of the problem, but the true ripple effect may not manifest itself for years to come. Children who witness domestic violence are deeply traumatized. Without intervention, children who grow up in the culture of domestic violence do not learn appropriate coping or problem-solving skills. They may develop an inappropriate sense of "normal" relationships and behaviors. They are also more prone to physical and sexual abuse within their own homes. Children can also suffer developmental, social and cognitive delays as a result of their exposure to family violence.
There is ample evidence that domestic violence is a growing problem in Utah. It's time that Utahns take a collective stand that it is not acceptable for 33 people to die in one year at the hands of spouses, boyfriends or parents. It is unconscionable that children have witnessed this violence. Although these tragedies generally play out in the privacy of people's homes, Utahns must develop a sensibility that domestic violence is a community problem.
Many people are reluctant to intervene in these cases, but they should at least become educated about domestic violence. At a minimum they should know where to refer victims for help in escaping. For help, call 1-800-897-LINK (or 5465), or go to the Utah Domestic Violence Council Web site at www.udvac.org.
Domestic violence is a highly complex issue. Many times, friends, family or co-workers say, "Why doesn't she just leave?" If only it were that simple. Unless a woman has developed an escape plan with the assistance of a professional, she may put herself in greater danger because the abuser will perceive his control of the victim may be compromised. If the victim has children, their welfare may be threatened as well.
Some victims have very few financial resources and some become so emotionally abused that they lack the self-confidence to believe they could support themselves and their children. Others don't want to take their children from their fathers, even when the family structure is so dysfunctional.
Domestic violence experts tell us that awareness about domestic violence and community resources is growing, particularly among religious leaders. That is a very positive trend. But the community at large must also learn its role in recognizing the signs of domestic violence, offering a listening ear and referring victims to professionals who can help them escape and begin to recover.