What, exactly, the fascination is with watching third-rate celebrities on "reality" shows, I can't quite figure out. Whether they're dancing or skating, it's a phenomenon that defies explanation.
And it's a phenomenon that enters the kitchen tonight as B-list celebrities — OK, maybe C-list or D-list — team up with celebrity chefs and make like "Iron Chefs" in "Celebrity Cooking Showdown."
NBC is making a week of it, airing the first episode tonight at 8 p.m. (Ch. 5) and episodes 2-5 Tuesday-Friday at 7 p.m.
This being "reality" TV, the term "celebrity" is used loosely. In tonight's premiere, Tom Arnold is the biggest name on board. Really. He and Big Kenny Alphin (half of the Big and Rich country music duo) and Chelsea Cooley (Miss USA 2005) team up with chefs Wolfgang Puck, Cat Cora ("Iron Chef America") and Govind Armstrong (chef, Table 8, Los Angeles).
On Tuesday, it's Patti LaBelle, Ashley Parker Angel (MTV's "There and Back") and supermodel Gabrielle Reece. On Wednesday, it's Tony Gonzalez, Alison Sweeney and Cindy Margolis, whoever they are.
The three winners return Thursday for a cook-off, with the audience at home voting for their favorites even though no one has yet invented a television set that transmits taste. Viewers will vote on presentation while judges Colin Cowie ("Every-day Elegance") and New York magazine restaurant critic Gael Greene are the in-studio judges. A winner will be declared on Friday.
Well, it certainly cost NBC a lot less for this competition than, say, the Olympics.
"I'VE GOT A SECRET" was one of TV's most successful game shows — it ran on CBS from 1952-67 and was revived several times in syndication.
It's back once again on GSN (formerly the Game Show Network), airing new episodes weeknights at 9:30 p.m. And it's basically the same show. Host Bill Dwyer moderates as four (sort of) celebrities — Jermaine Taylor, Suzanne Westenhoefer, Frank DeCaro and Billy Bean — try to guess what each contestant's secret is.
It's goofier than the original, but it's fun.
"THE REAL WORLD" is headed to Denver next season, and that city's mayor couldn't be happier about it.
"This is a tremendous opportunity for Denver to showcase our cultural and recreational vibrancy to a very large, young audience," said Mayor John Hickenlooper in a prepared statement.
Apparently, he's never seen the show.
E-mail: pierce@desnews.com