I'm hereby throwing down the gauntlet and issuing a challenge to you, Michael Mann. If you can make a movie that's 90 minutes, I'll issue a public apology. You name the place, the time and the format.
I really want to like Mann's movies more than I do. But he needs to take to heart that bit about brevity and wit and get an editor whose last name isn't Mann.
His latest indulgence is the big-screen version of "Miami Vice," starring Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx. It's got a couple of thrilling sequences and has style to burn, but at 132 minutes it's at least 20 minutes too long.
And yet "Miami Vice" is shorter than many of Mann's other films: "Ali" (2001) clocked in at 159 minutes, while 1999's "The Insider" ran 157 minutes. And as much as I admire the performances in 1995's "Heat," 171 minutes was almost an endurance test.
It's not as if he can't keep things on the shorter side. The 2004 thriller "Collateral" was 120 minutes, and his adaptations of "The Last of the Mohicans" and "Red Dragon" ran 117 and 119 minutes, respectively.
After "Miami Vice," I almost wonder if his goal is seeing how long he can get an audience to sit through a film.
And though I make this challenge to Mann, I will not extend it to Steven Spielberg, who is also specializing in two hour-plus opuses these days.
IT'S ALL RELATIVE. "Miami Vice" joins a handful of other long-winded summer blockbusters — "The Da Vinci Code" (149 minutes), "Mission: Impossible III" (126 minutes), "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" (151 minutes) and "Superman Returns" (154 minutes). None of them knew when to shut up.
Not that I have anything against long films. Some of my all-time favorites include "2001: A Space Odyssey" (1968, 139 minutes) and "Lawrence of Arabia" (1962, 222 minutes). Besides, the juvenile comedies "The Ant Bully" (88 minutes) and "Little Man" (95 minutes) both prove that films less than 100 minutes can still seem like an eternity.
MICHAEL MANN WATCHES HBO. While I was a little restless watching "Miami Vice," I must admit that I was amused to see a couple of the actors from my favorite HBO series, "Deadwood." John Hawkes, who plays Jewish merchant Sol Starr on that show, and Pavel Lynchnikoff, who is a Russian telegraph operator simply known as Blazanov, have cameos in "Miami Vice" as ill-fated characters.
And getting a little more screen time as one of Crockett and Tubbs' fellow undercover officers is Domenick Lombardozzi, who plays "The Wire's" detective Thomas "Herc" Houk; he's also had guest roles on both "Entourage" and "Oz."
E-mail: jeff@desnews.com