Dear Abby: Last week I hit my husband. My daughter saw me do it. My parents were violent when they were drunk, and I swore I would never do that, but it happened.
Abby, can my children forget my mistakes, or are they doomed to keep repeating this violence from generation to generation? Can it stop here if I get proper help? How do I prevent my children from following in my — and my parents' — footsteps in this regard? — Sorry Mom In Canada
Dear Sorry Mom: Your children are not "doomed." They can learn better ways to manage their anger, and so can you. Tell your daughter you were wrong to hit her father, and you regret it. Explain that you are going to see a counselor and learn more appropriate ways to deal with your anger and frustration.
Make an appointment with a therapist as soon as possible, and locate the nearest chapter of Adult Children of Alcoholics. ACA is a 12-step group of people who grew up much as you did. They can help you understand the dynamics of your behavior and assist you in overcoming your reaction to problems.
Contact Adult Children of Alcoholics World Services Organization, P.O. Box 3216, Torrance, CA 90510 or go to www.adultchildren.org.
Dear Abby: Honesty pays. I received a call today from a gentleman who had picked up a large cardboard box that I had left at the recycling center.
When he removed the Styrofoam "peanuts" to pack his merchandise, he discovered a large summer sausage from a well-known company. Instead of playing "finders keepers" and enjoying the sausage himself, he took the trouble to look at our address on the packing label and find our telephone number in the directory.
How fortunate for him that he was so ethical! The sausage had been a Christmas gift from 2004, which we had overlooked when we unpacked the box. It sat in a storage area, unrefrigerated, for a year when we decided to recycle. Had he munched on that morsel, he would surely have gotten his "just desserts."
Instead, he received a nice chocolate fudge cake from us as a reward for his courtesy. — Overhasty Recycler In New Mexico
Dear Overhasty: Yes, honesty pays. And the man received a sweet payoff for his virtue.
CONFIDENTIAL TO "SHOULD I CONTINUE OR QUIT?": The answer to your question will be found in this profound statement that originated with Sir Winston Churchill: "To each there comes in their lifetime a special moment when they are figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered the chance to do a very special thing, unique to them and fitted to their talents. What a tragedy if that moment finds them unprepared or unqualified for that which could have been their finest hour." Enroll at your earliest opportunity and complete the preparation to fulfill your dreams.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. © Universal Press Syndicate