I have known this guy for almost a year and a half, and we've dated several times. He joined the Air Force and recently left for Japan. When he went, we promised each other many things. But between jealousy and the stress of not being together, now we act so differently toward each other. What should I do? —Alisha, 18, Mechanicsburg, Pa.
You and your guy are trying to put a label on your relationship that just doesn't fit anymore. Think about it: You can't be "dating" a guy who is in Japan. That makes no sense — when are the dates? I'm not saying to dump the relationship, because relationships are far deeper and more meaningful than labels (like "boyfriend"). But you should put it in perspective. Tell your guy that you care about him but that your relationship will be healthier right now as a friendship. That doesn't mean less love and support — just that the rules need to be different. You're young, and you should be going out and meeting new people.
And P.S.: Friendship is the foundation of any relationship, so one day when he's living closer, you might be able to pick things up where they left off. At the very least you will stay good friends who treated each other honorably.
I'm really interested in becoming a vegetarian, and I think I can do it. I try to avoid meat by simply saying I'm not hungry. I'm very serious about this, but my parents just don't seem to take me seriously. My favorite celebrities are vegetarians or vegans, so that makes me feel motivated. How can I confront my parents about this? —Jenna, 14, Brownsville, Texas
I hate to break it to you, Jenna, but I understand why your parents aren't taking you seriously. Becoming a vegetarian is a big decision, yet you sound pretty flaky about how you're handling it so far.
For one: Doing it to be like your favorite celebrities? Many of them also do drugs — are you interested in that, too? Not a good reason. Two: Pretending you're not hungry to avoid eating meat is not mature or healthy. You need to do more soul searching and research.
For starters, you should have your own personal reasons for making this choice. Then you need to put together a realistic plan for what you'll be eating at every meal (and that's every day) to stay healthy. Being a vegetarian is about a lot more than just not eating meat. You must figure out how to get your protein (and other nutrients, depending on what kind of vegetarian you want to be), or else you will become very, very sick.
Another thing to consider is that some experts believe that vegetarianism in young girls (especially when it's done on a whim, like how you're going about it ) can be a precursor to an eating disorder. Don't treat this like a fad. Your health and body are far too important to be playing games with.
If you decide you're truly serious about vegetarianism and you've done the research to create a really healthy menu (see vegetariantimes.com to find out what nutrients you need to cover in each meal) and your parents still don't take you seriously? Bring all your research to your next doctor's appointment, and talk through your decision with your doctor and mom together. If your physician backs up that you know what you're talking about (provided that you do — I'm sorry to have such little faith in you, but between the celebrity comment and the fact that you pretend like you're not hungry, I can't help but not take you very seriously myself), then I'm sure you'll have better luck with your parents.
Questions may be sent directly to Atoosa Rubenstein at: dearseventeen@hearst.com. Atoosa Rubenstein, the founding editor of CosmoGirl! magazine, is the editor in chief of Seventeen magazine.
© Hearst Communications Inc.
Distributed by King Features Syndicate Inc.