Dear Abby: Two years ago, after 56 years of marriage, I became a widow. I am only 82. I miss the companionship, but what I miss the most is ballroom dancing. All my friends are widows, or their husbands are too feeble to dance.

I keep house for my divorced son and teenage grandson. I drive my grandson to school in a carpool, take him to the doctor, the dentist, etc. I am blessed with good health and can travel across the country to visit my daughters and other relatives. I play bridge three or four times a week. I am active in my religious community and have many friends of all ages. I love to read, and I'm never bored or lonely.

Abby, what I'm trying to say is: Age is all in the mind. —Young at Heart in Arizona

Dear Young at Heart: I agree with you. With your attitude you will never be "old" or lonely.

As to missing ballroom dancing, check your Yellow Pages for dancing schools, and sign up for some classes. I knew a lady who went dancing well into her 90s. When she attended events, she would take one (or two!) dancing instructors with her. Where there's a will, there's a way.

Dear Abby: Both of my siblings and I are in our mid-20s. After years of fighting, bickering and unhappiness, my parents have finally separated for good. My mother has moved in with her cousin.

My problem is my mother is perpetually depressed. This has been going on for years. In addition, she has become more and more reclusive. Her life has become her job, her cat and occasional outings with her cousin, my siblings or me. We have tried repeatedly to get Mom into counseling or involved in any sort of social organization, but to no avail. Mother is only in her mid-50s and dislikes anything involving "seniors."

Abby, please help. Can you suggest some place or organization to which my mother can turn for help? —Wit's End in Wilmington

Dear Wit's End: Chronic depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. The good news is that, in most cases, it is treatable. Your mother should see a physician for a thorough checkup, and if possible, you should accompany her and explain how restricted her life has become.

Dear Abby: In replying to "Unofficial Stepmom in Texas" you concluded, "If you want to teach the children good morals and values, the way to do it is to stop nagging, set a good example, and refrain from making nasty comments about their 'trashy' mother."

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Abby, that woman needs to heed the words of George Bernard Shaw: "If you must hold yourself up to your children as an object lesson, hold yourself up as a warning and not as an example." —Arthur in Memphis

Dear Arthur: Well said. George Bernard Shaw was not only a wit, he was a very wise man. And so are you.


Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.


© Universal Press Syndicate

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