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Rock on ...

We are the world

Way back last spring, when the Andrei Kirilenko soap opera was just hitting its stride, his wife suggested A.K.'s troubles with Jerry Sloan were largely communicative.

Now at least A.K. has company, thanks to the addition of Ukrainian rookie Kyrylo Fesenko, who also speaks Russian.

"You run into a guy that can talk to you, you end up having a friend," coach Jerry Sloan told Deseret Morning News writer Tim Buckley. "Everybody in southern Illinois, we all understand that."

That's because everyone in southern Illinois speaks Farm.

Other times, though, Sloan speaks another language — the international language of coaching, which consists mainly of running together long strings of expletives.

One world, one language.

And you thought sports didn't bring nations together.

I hope you dance

Jazz center Mehmet Okur reportedly is nursing a toe injury, which he says could be from pushing himself too hard.

"I was told that it is an injury that usually happens to dancers from overpracticing," he wrote on his Web site.

Good point. If you've seen the 6-foot-11 Memo making a move to the basket, how better to describe it than to call it a ballet?

Never say never

Don't break the law in State College, Pa., or you're going to have to deal with Joe Pa.

Penn State football coach Joe Paterno made news last week after reportedly chasing down a woman he said ran a stop sign. Paterno explained on a TV show that he followed the woman to another stop, pulled up beside her and told her what she'd done.

"All of a sudden," said Paterno, "somebody knocks on my window. I put the window down, and he says, 'That's my wife."'

Joe Pa responded, "Boy, that's your problem."

Wow. Snippy. All she did was fail to stop in a timely manner.

Which is pretty much what the 80-year-old Paterno is doing with his career, isn't it?

Changing her tune

He's young. He's handsome. And he's quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys.

It should come as no surprise, then, that Tony Romo made news in recent months for dating singer Carrie Underwood.

Is there a future for the country star and the quarterback?

Only if she scraps any plans she might have had to remake the country classic "Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys."

A fair trade

Los Angeles Times writer Larry Stewart pointed out last week that Boston has the advantage over the City of Angels this year.

First, the Celtics topped L.A. in the Kevin Garnett sweepstakes. Then the Red Sox swept the Angels in their first-round playoff series. Meanwhile, the New England Patriots are undefeated and Boston College is ranked No. 3 in the football polls.

At the same time, Boston has Ben Affleck, which evens it out a little, doesn't it?