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10 reasons why Utahns (won't be)/(will be) rooting for the Rockies

10 reasons why Utahns won't be rooting for the Rockies

• Refuse to support a team that plays in Coors Field.

• Ticked off that the Mile High City's NFL team — named after BYU's football coach — is on the blasted TV in Utah every Sunday.

• That's where headquarters for The mtn. are located.

• Wasatch Front ski bums tired of Aspen getting more pub than Park City. The snow's yellow on that overrated side of them thar hills, right?

• Still mad about spending 17 hours trying to find way out of sprawling Denver International Airport.

• Wife/mom/grandma forced everybody in house to watch Denver-based soap opera "Dynasty."

• Name too closely resembles that of Salt Lake City's mayor. Even worse, Denver will host 2008 Democratic National Convention.

• Can't stand bandwagon jumpers ever since becoming a diehard Red Sox fan waaaay back in 2004.

• Envy all the top-tier pro teams based there: Rockies (MLB), Nuggets (NBA), Broncos (NFL), Avalanche (NHL), Rapids (MLS) and, of course, the Denver Outlaws of Major League Lacrosse.

• Never heard of them before this article.

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10 reasons why Utahns will be rooting for the Rockies

• Bandwagons are a blast to ride — especially ones that are located in the same time zone.

• Support everything in Denver except the Nuggets due to unabashed orange crush on Team Elway and ability to watch two-time Super Bowl champs on Utah TV every Sunday.

• Gotta love all Rockies — from baseball teams, to boxers, roads, ice creams, relationships, mayors, relationships with mayors, mountains, Tops in Tennessee, to Bullwinkle's buddy.

• Became enamored with the area watching MTV's "The Real World: Denver" in 2006.

• Seen it rainin' fire in the sky and basically just get high, the Rocky Mountain way!, singing old John Denver tunes, but who doesn't?

• Complained about wife/mom/grandma watching "Dynasty" but secretly enjoyed it for two reasons: Heather Locklear and Linda Evans.

• Rox have a chance to beat the team Ben Affleck, John Kerry and Ted Kennedy will be cheering for.

• Favorite color is purple. Bonus: The mountains on their logo resemble the peaks on Utah Jazz uniforms!

• Dale Murphy used to play for them.

• Favorite players are: Paris Hilton's older brother, Todd; anybody whose name sounds like a German whisky; and LaTroy Hawkins, the former ace of the Bees, Stingers, Buzz and/or Gulls staff who pitched at Franklin Covey, Franklin Quest and/or Derk's Field.