It serves you right, Disney.
The Mouse House's live-action movie version of the popular television cartoon "Underdog" debuted with an unimpressive $12 million over its opening weekend, and, of course, continues to drop each week.
Last weekend the film made $3.9 million, and its total earnings to date are little over $33 million. While the film's production costs haven't been disclosed, "Underdog" definitely cost more than $33 million to make.
It's a pretty dumb concept for a movie, and the film itself is charmless.
Also, the original cartoon version of "Underdog" — minus some of the original's more amusing dialogue — is shown during opening credits.
All of which makes you wonder, why didn't they just make a theatrical cartoon? The studio could have still used the same cast as voices, and an animated feature probably would have done better at the box office.
And that's just one of a handful of questions I want answered.
WHY DIDN'T "DADDY DAY CAMP" GO STRAIGHT TO VIDEO? Even the cast of its predecessor — the inexplicable 2003 hit "Daddy Day Care" — failed to return. For the sequel, Eddie Murphy and Jeff Garlin are replaced by Cuba Gooding Jr. and a rather generic fat guy.
Gooding, a 1997 Oscar-winner, has apparently been reduced to picking up Murphy's scraps. But it's hard to say whether "Daddy Day Camp" is a bigger embarrassment for him or for the state of Utah, which hosted the shooting (mostly in Park City and Utah County).
A quick sidenote: A couple of readers have e-mailed to ask why I didn't review the movie (the Deseret Morning News ran a wire-service review). An advance screening I attended was canceled because the print of the film had been assembled incorrectly. The first reel played fine — but then the second reel was inverted and upside-down. It's not easy to reassemble a movie these days, and the screening was not rescheduled.
Actually, of what I was able to see, the best part was inverted and upside-down.
WHY DOES CLAIRE DANES HAVE A BRITISH ACCENT IN "STARDUST?" Her character in this fantasy is supposed to be a fallen star. Perhaps she "inherited" an accent once she crash-landed in England?
On the other hand, as phony as Danes' broad accent is, it's nothing compared to her character's unconvincing, injured limping, which at one point "magically" changes from her right leg to her left.
WHY DOES FILMMAKER DANNY BOYLE STRUGGLE WITH THIRD ACTS? His latest movie is "Sunshine," which turns from a fairly intelligent science-fiction thriller to a gory serial-killer thriller in the final 40 minutes. Which is typical of Boyle's work.
"28 Days Later" almost feels like two completely different movies, and both "The Beach" and "A Life Less Ordinary" fall apart before they're over.
Even the charming "Millions" takes a rather nasty turn toward the end, which hurts the third act ... although that one does recover.
E-mail: jeff@desnews.com