It was high council Sunday yesterday, and our high councilor did a great job. He was well-prepared. He had a pleasant speaking style. He even finished on time.
I just cant for the life of me remember a thing that he said.
I blame this on Bruce.
Bruce is a counselor in our bishopric, and he was conducting the meeting yesterday. The bishop also assigned him to speak on the subject of . . . um . . . well, I dont remember exactly what Bruce talked about, either (am I the only one who sees a disturbing trend developing here?).
As always, Bruce did a good job of conducting the meeting — right up until the point at which he was supposed to give his talk. And then something happened.
Or didnt happen, to be more precise.
Bruce couldnt speak. He tried, God bless him. But every time he opened his mouth the words got jammed somehow. He seemed to have something stuck in his throat — he coughed and wheezed and tried to clear the way. He was breathing and smiling, so we figured he was OK. But for two minutes or so he stood at the podium . . . speechless.
We all sat there, uncomfortably laughing a little, waiting for somebody to do something.
And finally somebody did.
Two somebodies, in fact.
Almost simultaneously, the bishop and Janet stood. The bishop ambled across the front of the chapel and out the door that leads to the bishops office.
Hes either going to call 911 or hes going to take a nap, I whispered to my wife, Anita.
She looked at me, and to her credit she somehow managed to suppress the urge to roll her eyes. After living with me for 30 years I think shes finally getting used to me. Hes going to get some water, she said.
Of course. Water. That made sense. Besides, I remembered, our good bishop has never hesitated to take a nap right there on the stand whenever he needed one.
Janet, meanwhile, was sitting with her husband Jerry in their usual place on the second row. I dont know if they paid for that pew, but everyone knows that that is where Janet and Jerry sit. And nobody else sits there — even if they are out of town or something. This isnt because of fear or intimidation — Janet and Jerry are to intimidation what September Dawn is to good movie-making. Rather, it is because of respect. Janet is in the Relief Society presidency, but she is more than that. She is the ward mother hen. She knows everyone and cares about everyone, and everyone has a story or two about how Janet has ministered to them personally.
Ditto Jerry — except for the mother hen part (is there such a thing as a father hen? Technically, I guess that would be a rooster, but rooster doesnt work as well, metaphorically speaking).
So Janet did what Janet does. She stood, right there in the middle of Sacrament Meeting, and walked up to the podium and handed something to Bruce — a candy or a mint or something — I couldnt tell what it was. At about the same time the bishop returned with a little bottle of water (as a journalist I need to say that Im assuming it was water; all I could see is that it was a clear liquid, so I guess it could have been Sprite or tequila — but I think water is a safe bet here). Both the candy and the water got to Bruce at about the same time. He smiled, popped the candy into his mouth, took a long drink of water and plunged back into his talk.
At full voice.
For the rest of the meeting I found myself considering the messages of that little incident (which probably explains why I cant remember much about the talks — or it is yet another indication that I have spiritual ADD). I was touched by a bishop who wasnt as concerned about proper procedure as he was about Bruce. I was inspired by Janet, who saw a need and filled it (unlike the rest of us, who just sort of sat there, grateful that it was Bruce and not us who was up there struggling to speak). And I was impressed with Bruce, who refused to allow the incident to detract from the spirit of the meeting. He didnt freak out or milk the situation for drama. He graciously accepted the help he was offered, regained control and then forged ahead with his remarks, never mentioning the incident again.
Which is part of the reason why those of us who were there will never forget it.
Even if we cant remember a thing that he and the high councilor said.