For LDS parents who spent Sunday afternoon bribing young children with
bags of animal crackers, trying to distract them with Noah's Ark flap
books and threatening them with timeout in an empty classroom, all in
an effort to keep them quiet, there's some good news.
Come Monday night, your kids don't necessarily have to remain still and silent to have an effective family home evening.
According to Ross Flom, a Brigham Young University associate professor
of psychology, messages that don't appear to be getting through often
are.
"To the extent that they are paying attention, they are picking things
up," said Flom, who has been at the Provo school for seven years and
specializes in infant development.
The trick, of course, is to achieve that focus. That's when a parent's
vision of an ideal family home evening setting may conflict with a more
effective, kid-friendly approach.
According to Flom, some parents who try to present an elaborate lesson
to toddlers often become frustrated and give up. But the activities
themselves — and the subsequent success or chaos — are secondary to the
process of holding family home evening with young children.
"You're on the right track," he said. "You're getting them used to the habit of having that activity in their home."
Children don't necessarily have to be sitting quietly during family
home evening, said Flom, who suggests parents tailor the activities to
meet the needs of small children. Some of the more effective approaches
involve face-to-face social interaction and kid-friendly objects that
encourage curiosity.
"Have them explore it in a way that they haven't thought of before," he said.
Simple activities such as reading a story, looking at illustrations in
the church magazines, pointing out details in family photographs or
going outside to view the natural surroundings can be effective and
engaging for children, Flom said.
And, when dealing with infants and toddlers, don't plan on holding their interest for very long.
"They're going to go from one activity to another, and that's kind of what young kids do," Flom said.
Ultimately, Flom said, what children really need from their parents is time.
"That's something that every kid could kind of use more of," he said.