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The FlyLady: The FlyLady: Eat only one or a dozen?

Do you ever catch

yourself having conversations with voices inside your head? I don't think you

are crazy because this can be a good thing, depending on which voice you

listen to.Do you remember when you were little watching cartoons? A cartoon

character would have a little angel on one shoulder and a little devil on the

other and there was a battle over making a good choice or a bad choice. In real life

the voices are part of you, in your mind. You are not stuck in the middle of

this conversation; you are actually a part of it.Let's say you want to eat a dozen donuts. It is you who has

tempted you with the donuts. Then it is the voice of reason which is telling you

why you should not eat the whole box of donuts. You have a choice to eat them or

not to eat them. You get to make the ultimate decision.When you

recognize that you are actually having the conversation is the beginning of your

journey. The next big step is realizing who that voice in your head really

belongs to! Those voices don't just talk about donuts, they tell you how big

your thighs are and they beat you up!When you are FLYing you deserve to

be treated nicely, and it starts with telling those voices to go away! You don't

have to listen to those negative voices that say ugly things. Instead of them

berating you over your dress size, they can love you into not eating 12

donuts by saying how much better you will feel if you don't eat the whole box.

They can give you a reward for being kind to your body. Just

recognizing the voices for what they are is such a huge step!When you

replace those negative voices with a voice that is kind and gentle, you will

start to see a change in your attitude. We don't have to feel put down and

punished or resort to rebellion when we love ourselves. When we are FLYing, we

won't do anything that hurts us.My friend Pam Young has come up with a

good way to teach us how to join in the conversation. We can use her Get Out of

Debt Book to learn to be nice to

ourselves. We first heard those hurtful words when we were young children. All

we have to do is treat ourselves as if we are children and show that little

child the same love and kindness we show our very own children.This

takes a little practice; I know you can do it! Join the conversation! Don't hide

behind the dozen donuts and feel sad and defeated. Use the donuts as a way to reinforce doing good things for yourself. You don't have to eat them all when

you eat only one or share one! You know in your heart that you could have eaten

the whole box. Ask yourself why you want them, why you bought them. Then

celebrate your success at eating only one and not the whole box! You won't feel

deprived or guilty!You can find joy in talking to yourself about this! I'll bet

you can even tell yourself just how proud you are for only eating one when you

wanted a dozen. I think you deserve points. I know I did yesterday when I went

to McFarland's Bakery to pick up a birthday cake! I'll take points any place I

can get them!

For more help getting rid of your CHAOS, check out her Web site and join her free life coaching at, listen to her


or read her books, Sink Reflections, published by Bantam, and her New York

Times Best Selling book, Body Clutter, published by Fireside. Copyright 2009

Marla Cilley. Used by permission in this publication.