As football season approaches, it means it's also time for another wave of football video games. Honestly, we're a little tired of the umpteenth version of the same old game. It's always good to have the current rosters, and each year there are new bells and whistles. But in the interest of really keeping things fresh, here are some sports video games we'd like to see:
1. Adam "Pacman" Jones Football: We envision it as sort of a cross between Madden and Grand Theft Auto. Play football on Sundays, create havoc on the streets the rest of the week.
2. Beer League Softball: Your players have to chug a beer every time they reach second base and the screen gets blurrier and wobblier as the game goes into the late innings.
3. Texas High School Football: Hone your skills in 7-on-7 tournaments, then work your way through district play and on to the state playoffs. The winning team gets to stop by Whataburger after the game. But remember, it's no pass/no play, so don't forget to sit next to the smart kid in class.
4. Donkey Basketball: From time to time, your controller just stops working as that donkey you're riding decides it's not going to move.
5. Mike Tyson's Bail-Out!!: You're a member of Tyson's entourage. The goal is to keep the former heavyweight champ out of trouble. It'll be one of the hardest video games of all time.
6. Jose Canseco's Juiced Baseball: The object of this game is to get bigger, faster and stronger...by any means necessary. This game features real player names — but only the ones who did steroids. Don't worry, Canseco knows who they are.
7. Richie Tenenbaum's Tennis: There are a number of playing surfaces to choose from, including Windswept Fields and the 375th Street Y, and it features Tex Hayward as the announcer. Fall behind, and you'll be playing tennis without both of your shoes and one of your socks. Lose, and you'll have people asking "Why'd you choke out there that day, Baumer?"
8. John Daly's Grip It and Rip It Golf: Customize your golfer with crazy outfits. Between tournaments you have to navigate his bus to the next tour stop. Just be careful of those low tunnels. See if you can get through a tournament without withdrawing. First one to break 80 wins.
9. Brett Favre Football: It's an intriguing concept, but a word of warning to software executives. Maybe Favre will agree to endorse a video game and maybe he won't. He'll get back to you soon.
10. Bubble Hockey: Like the classic arcade game, players can only go in two directions in a limited space and spin in 360 degrees. Can this game really be made? Do we believe in miracles? . . . Yes, yes we do.