Under the new reform guidelines, the CIA has found a new use for electric drills — home repair.

The new special prosecutor, John H. Durham, has ordered all CIA electric drills to be dusted for Dick Cheney's fingerprints.

Here we go again. The upcoming probe and inconclusive hearings over CIA interrogation techniques will not only put health care on the back burner, it will take it off the stove completely.

Town hall riots, pulling the plug on Grandma, Michael Jackson's alleged murder, the Scotland-Libya axis of evil, CIA's drill, baby, drill. Where are the August doldrums now that we need them?