When I first came across The Atlantic's cover story and conceived of the idea for my column last week,
I was excited. A societal trend leading the world into darkness, some
Latter-day Saints following close behind, the opportunity to sound a
warning call and decry the ills of our culture: this stuff is my bread
and butter!
But then I realized, wait, this stuff really is my bread and butter.
And then I got worried.
Indeed, regular readers of my Mormon Twentysomething column may notice
that I have something of a penchant for shining a spotlight on the
varied problems with LDS culture. And as far as themes go, I think that
one is actually pretty appropriate — especially considering the outlet.
Like it or not, it really is quite "Mormon Twentysomething" of me to
bash on cultural Mormonism and the special LDS brand of
self-righteousness. The fashionable cynicism of youth is alive and
well, even among the Latter-day Saint rank and file.
But some readers may be surprised that I am not really like this in
person. Oh sure, I can laugh at zoobie customs just like everyone else,
but that won't stop me from singing the fight song or going on duck
pond scavenger hunts (if you don't know what I'm talking about, don't
worry about it).
Similarly, although I often use the space in my column to criticize the
less productive parts of our culture, I try not to throw out the baby
with the bathwater.
For example, I think EFY counselors ought to be more careful to avoid emotional manipulation, but that doesn't mean I didn't love the four years I attended. And just because it's hard to come by "hip" LDS music doesn't mean I can't occasionally rock out to the Saturday Warrior's title track. (Occasionally, mind you.)
I guess my point is that Mormon culture — as defined by its social
ideals, expectations and common customs — may be flawed, but it can also
be fantastic, especially compared to some of the other options.
LDS culture promotes ingenuity and hard work. Yes, this can manifest
itself in multi-level marketing schemes and a belief in the "prosperity
gospel," but it's a whole lot better than laziness and a sense of
financial entitlement.
Our culture values generosity and service. A girl in our married
student ward recently sent an e-mail to the Relief Society requesting
help for a few days, and by the time my wife responded only hours
later, the list was full of eager volunteers. Is the service sometimes
disingenuous and self-righteous? Sure, sometimes. But often, it's done
humbly and kindly. Can we really demonize this common practice within
our church?
Now the truth is, as the church continues to grow and expand, the "LDS
culture" as we know it now will become more and more diluted. Already,
there is a significant difference between the Mormon lifestyle in Utah
and Idaho versus that of Massachusetts, Mexico or Morocco. No one
should be judged for pushing against certain social expectations in our
church that have nothing to do with official doctrines. But I think we
should also be grateful for the good produced by some of those
expectations.
As long as I'm writing this column, I will continue to examine whether
how we think, talk and treat others is really conducive to the
teachings of Christ. I certainly don't have all the answers, but as a
Latter-day Saint who's always heard that setting a good example can
change the world, I feel like I should at least try to do my part.
I guess you can blame it on my upbringing.