an immutable law of nature that when you get a group of pregnant women
together, the conversation will quickly turn to nothing but morning
sickness woes, delivery horror stories and way-too-detailed discussions
of body parts.
I was reminded of
this pregnancy law at a "Baby Bump Brunch" this weekend for a group of
my friends who are all pregnant at the same time. Some of us are
pregnant with our second, some are working on their third and most are
going through the ups and downs of pregnancy for the first time.
we sat and talked about our leg cramps, contractions and hormonal mood
swings, I noticed just how different the attitude of those on their
first pregnancy was versus those who had already been through the
miracle and roller coaster of giving birth.
all of the first-timers were wearing maternity clothes, even if they
were not even close to showing yet. I, however, was squeezed tight into
my pre-maternity clothes because I am not about to step into maternity
wear one second before I have to.
on my first child, I was all too eager to start showing and start
wearing maternity clothes. I was pregnant and I wanted the world to
know it immediately! I thought my maternity clothes were adorable and I
thought I was adorable, too.
be so naive again. This time around, I'm perfectly happy putting off
those maternity clothes as long as I can because I know now that in
nine months I will hate the sight of them. I will hate having only
three shirts to choose from that each have a food stain directly in the
middle of the belly.
I also now know
that I was not as adorable as I thought I was. I remember taking a
picture in the driveway before heading to the hospital and thinking I
really looked pretty good for being nine months pregnant.
now shudder when I see that picture. Seriously, why did my friends let
me walk around in public like that? My face is about as round as a moon
and my ankles probably chafed each other as I waddled amid normal
The second thing I noticed
about the first-time moms is that they talked about their upcoming
delivery day as if they have any control over what happens. They
discussed birth plans, whether they want parents in the room or if they
are OK having a C-section.
had such a plan on my first child. And what I learned about two hours
into labor and delivery is that plans are great, but they get thrown
out the window pretty darn quick. In the end, there are two people
calling the shots: the doctor and the baby.
unless you're me and then your mother is also calling a few shots like
when I agreed to let her in the delivery room as long as she stayed in
a specific spot and didn't get in the way. That lasted all of 2
seconds. I vaguely recall a moment when my mom was actually holding up
my leg while I pushed and I said something like, "Hey, you're out of
And the final attitude
difference I noticed between the first and second-time moms is that the
first-timers envisioned delivery day as the day when everything gets
easy again. The back pain goes away, the 30-point turns to switch sides
in bed and the fatigue all fade away after that baby comes out. Moms
can breathe easy and slip into a fantasy land of maternal bliss. Right?
Oh so wrong. I can't tell you how many times during the first few
postpartum days that I wondered if there was any practical way to just
shove that baby back into my uterus. Trust me, moms-to-be, those little
babes are a lot easier to take care of when they are inside.
although the sheen of pregnancy might not be as glossy the second time
around as moms get a little wiser, we still choose to do it again. We
knowingly embark on a journey of maternity wear, sleepless nights and
delivery nightmares because we know those aren't the memories that
Those aren't the memories
that adorn the pages of a ridiculous number of scrapbooks or fill the
pages of our pregnancy journals.
the obstacles of pregnancy will come screaming back to our memory the
second we see those two pink lines on the next pregnancy test. But even
then, we will smile because we know that every stretch mark and every
horror story is worth it, and we'd give anything to go through it all