Ever since I had my surgery, I've spent a lot of time online because being online is one of those things that doesn't require two hands, unlike clapping. (Unless you are a Buddhist monk.)
Or eating at a Brazilian steakhouse. (Unless you are an expert at cutting up meat with one hand.) (Which I can totally promise you AREN'T.)
Take it from me. The only thing you can do with a knife and one good hand at a Brazilian steakhouse is to stab something — your meat, hopefully, and not members of your dinner party out of sheer frustration because they can eat, WHEREAS you cannot.
Seriously. If I ever write a book called "LIVING ONE-HANDED IN A TWO-HANDED WORLD," I'm gonna suggest giving Brazilian steakhouses a big miss, even if it IS your son's birthday and he has a coupon from Tucanos.
Back to the Internet. I've been reading a lot of blogs, which has been entertaining and illuminating.
Take the blog I found the other day. It's written by a group of articulate, thoughtful LDS women who discuss a wide range of topics.
I was particularly interested in a conversation the sisters were having about how to get husbands to assume "spiritual leadership" in the home.
What interested me more than the topic itself were the responses.
OF WHICH THERE WERE "A LOT."
So so so many "a lot." And most of them sounded a similar note, i.e., "Yeah, I definitely wish my husband would step up to the spiritual leadership plate and take a few cuts."
OK. My own reaction was two-fold. My first reaction was, "Hey! I'm glad I'm too old to care about a lot of stuff anymore!"
My second reaction was sympathy for all those men out there who are disappointing their women.
I could be wrong, but I'm guessing guys feel this way a lot: "Dude. I thought things were going pretty good, but I can tell she's annoyed with me again. AND I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHY."
So, guys, listen up. This column is to help you out, OK? Because I care about you. Even though I've never met you.
Valentine's Day is RIGHT around the corner, which gives you a perfect opportunity to show your woman that you worship her. And also that you've been listening.
Here's what you do on Feb. 14 — make a gesture that matters to HER.
FOR EXAMPLE: Some women do not dig the bouquet. They think flowers = too expensive. Or that flowers = the easy way out for forgetful men. Or that flowers = stone cold dead in a week, so why bother?
I am not one of those women. I love flowers so much I WANT TO MARRY THEM. Which means that every year my husband (thank you, Husband!) calls Pam at Every Blooming Thing and orders up another. Meanwhile, I'm happy because he's made a gesture. The right gesture.
You can do the same thing, too!
(And then I won't have to read about you online.)