Looking for love? Open your eyes.

That's the message from dozens of psychologists who are increasingly convinced of the hard-to-explain powers good ol' fashioned eye contact can have with one's intimates — an experience largely lost in our technological era.

Perhaps the message might spur singles ward bishops to start introducing two-minute eye gazing drills during linger-longers.

Dozens upon dozens of studies say eye gazing stimulates lovers — and strangers alike — to feel closer toward their opposite. Looking and smiling at someone during conversation also increases one's own attractiveness, according to several studies.

Dr. Liz Hales, a Mormon psychologist in Salt Lake City, recently outlined the "very, very powerful" effects eye contact can have on one's relationship.

Hales spoke about infidelity at the Association of Mormon Counselors and Psychotherapists on April 1. She advised a room full of more than 100 mental heath professionals to encourage more eye contact between their clients with marital problems.

"(Couples) should face each other at the end of the day," she said.

Although Hales' presentation at the semi-annual conference focused on ways to help estranged couples, she cited several studies where eye contact did magic on complete strangers.

After psychologist and professor Robert Epstein randomly chose eight students from his class, he paired them off and asked them to rate their partner from 1 to 10 in several areas. He then asked them to stare at one another for two minutes.

"There was some giggling at first and them some very intense gazing," Epstein said. "After two minutes, I again asked for the numbers."

There was a 7 percent increase in "loving," 11 percent increase in "liking" and a whopping 45 percent increase in "closeness." And when Epstein asked his whole class to pair up and gaze, 89 percent of the students said the exercise increased their feelings toward one another.

A 1989 study by psychologist James Laird and his colleagues showed mutual eye gazing produced swift feelings of liking and loving in total strangers.

After behavioral psychologist Arthur Aron at Stony Brook University asked people to write about their experience of falling in love in the '80s he found eye contact was a "major factor." He did a gazing study between strangers a decade later that resulted in his subjects feeling closer. At least one of the couples got married.

Maybe humans were meant to communicate more face to face. At 4 months old, babies can interpret the general mood of their onlookers, an Oxford University study found. And a UCLA study showed up to 93 percent of our communication comes nonverbally. Taken strictly, that means a text message is only getting across 7 percent of one's overall message.

"When we're … interested in what we're looking at, our pupils dilate," said Hales, who noted eye contact isn't just important in our modern-day culture. "In medieval Italy, women put belladonna — literally meaning 'beautiful lady' — into their eyes to make their pupils look bigger."

The solution from the perennial herb brought attention to a woman's eyes by making her eyes wider, more dreamy and desirable.

"However," Hales said, "This is not recommended today, as belladonna is a kind of poison and eventually leads to blindness.

"So let's just stay with the eyeliner and mascara."

e-mail: jhancock@desnews.com

View Comments

More online

For more on the Association of Mormon Counselors and Psychotherapists conference, go to MormonTimes.com and click on "Mormon Living" and "health & lifestyle." The stories include:

Ethics of using spirituality in psychological practice

Defending faith in ministry

Join the Conversation
Looking for comments?
Find comments in their new home! Click the buttons at the top or within the article to view them — or use the button below for quick access.