Tyson Apostol wants to be on television again. Hey, the Utahn and two-time "Survivor" contestant wants his own talk show on the forthcoming Oprah Winfrey Network.

Tyson has entered the online contest "Your Own Show: Oprah's Search for the Next TV Star." Hopefuls submit a three-minute video, then hope to get votes from people visiting the website.

"Vote for me because you want to see me on TV every day. I know you do," he says. "I do. I hate TV without me."

(It's not a democracy, though. The rules are that "Votes count but that's not all! Casting directors look at ALL auditions — YOU COULD BE CHOSEN, TOO!")

One of my TV critic pals (from a city thousands of miles away) alerted me to this recently. We exchanged some derogatory comments about Tyson as a talk-show host.

OK, most of the derogatory comments were from me. OK, maybe all of them.

The next day, I got an e-mail from Tyson himself:

Hey Scott, I was wondering if you could do a little publicity on this. … It's worth a try.

Thanks! Tyson

I was a little surprised. I was under the impression that Tyson didn't like me when we chatted a few months ago.

That was because, first, I just assume that most people don't like me.

And, second, because Tyson was aware of the mean things I wrote about him the first time he was on "Survivor." Well, they were supposed to be funny. But he thought they were mean.

And he sort of gave me a hard time about them. Which I deserved.

Anyway, I was a little surprised by Tyson's e-mail. I even e-mailed my TV critic pal about it:

I was going to make fun of him. Now that will be harder for me to do because of my kind and tender heart. …

And my TV critic pal replied:

I had to double check to see who this e-mail was from. …

So, yeah, I do have this reputation.

Then I did what I should have done in the first place. I looked at Tyson's video.

And, for three minutes, I was actually entertained. Tyson's arrogance-schtick worked a whole lot better in the video than it generally did on "Survivor."

"You may remember me from TV. I was on it one time. Twice, actually," he says. "And I deserve to be on it again because I'm pretty awesome."

And he mentions Winfrey without gushing over the talk-show queen.

"Oprah and I go way back. As far as I can remember. She was on my television," he deadpans.

Pretty funny. And he's quite charming when he's chatting with some kids. Like when he asks whom he ought to have as a guest on his show and a kid suggests Kobe Bryant.

"No, never heard of him," Tyson says. "Is Kobe a boy or a girl?"

He's teasing them in an entirely good-natured way. Just the way he's teasing anybody who watches his clip.

"Some of my favorite hobbies include being awesome, scaring children, taking my shirt off when I brush my teeth," Tyson says. "I like to drive to and from the mall … taking my shirt off when I brush my teeth."

And, given that this is the Oprah Winfrey Network and the contest is soliciting shows that deal with interior design or fashion, cooking, and health and well-being, Tyson tries to cover all the bases. His show would be a combination of everything. Including fashion.

He does, however, wear some really bad sunglasses in part of the video. And an interesting T-shirt.

"I absolutely love fashion. If you can't tell from my shirt — it's a girl fighting a cobra on purple," he says. "I wear skinny jeans."

Yeah, well, I'm kind of thinking Tyson might be best at the final category mentioned on the website — "wildcard."

His video is surprisingly entertaining. And he might just end up being the most honest talk show host on TV.

I mean, Oprah Winfrey obviously thinks she's awesome. She's just not honest enough to tell us she thinks she's awesome.

No such problem with Tyson Apostol.

If you want to see Tyson Apostol's talk-show audition, click here.

e-mail: pierce@desnews.com