Ah, the food pyramids of youth. Many an hour I spent at my desk not doing my assignments, drooling over the food pictured in graph-form on the board.

Now those images are pushed aside because the USDA has come up with a new symbol in their latest effort to get Americans to eat healthier.

Good for them. And just in the nick of time, because my family eats like locust. In fact, they actually ate locust with a little butter on a dare. They plumage and forage like they haven’t seen a refrigerator in weeks. Several of them haven’t. Their allowance money is spent at the "Fast ‘n Go" to purchase sloshed ice and hot dogs.

You would think getting them to eat right would be no problem being that they have demonstrated a willingness to eat anything. When they are hungry they consume everything in their way, and it’s my job to put the right stuff in their way. And there's the rub.

My first attempt to help my family eat right was several months ago to help my youngest son to learn correct grocery shopping skills. He, for his “cooking and let dad do the cleaning” merit badge was responsible for the grocery shopping for a week. We ate nothing but mini-pizzas rolled into giant burritos for five days in a row topped off by cupcakes.

We both learned. He learned that sugar and chocolate can be considered its own food group. I learned not to let him have the debit card. I need a better plan.

In an endeavor to reconfigure nutrition guidelines for my family, I am using the new and improved, re-shaped “MyPlate” program which was released in June. The plate replaces the 2005 MyPyramid, which nutrition experts had devalued as confusing and somewhat vague using colored stripes to represent the food groups instead a picture of actual food.

“My Plate” is divided into four different sized quadrants, with fruits and vegetables taking half of the space, and grains and protein making up the other half. Dairy is sitting close aside in a cup. So far so good.

Frankly, I have never consulted a food graph-chart-pyramid before I have made my choice for dinner. This new MyPlate cost the government $2 million, so I thought I would try to get my money’s worth. I had thought to revamp my families eating habits this summer anyway – the USDA beat me to it. I mostly go for color, and sometimes for finances – got money? Then meat is on the menu, boys.” No money? Ramen and peas. Here is my plan

First we will have to have a standard to compare to. The older ones will use Body Mass Index, an estimate of body fat that is based on height and weight that doctors use, along with other health indicators, to assess an adult’s health and potential health risks and a quick charting of our energy levels. The children we will use comparing energy levels as BWI fluctuates widely with their growing patterns.

Second, we will be a quick measurement of the plate as a tool – as in “can we quickly chart our meals?”

And third, just for the heck of it, we may learn a little about different kinds of food during family time.

Today, I explained the new chart. I took an old plate and colored in the new chart. Then I hot glued it to the refrigerator. Then I pealed it off the refrigerator when my wife got home and made another out of paper.

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So far so good. My daughter wants ice cream for her dairy. Every day. And no, butter is not dairy even though it comes from a cow.

Rice is good, and cheese on the top of everything makes for a bigger plate – which my son actually recommended. In fact, he suggested we just add another plate for cheese and croutons, which I apparently approved without thinking because that's what's for dinner.

I am on a roll, which, as per my new chart, is 30-40 percent of dinner.

Davison Cheney blogs at davisoncheney.blogspot.com.

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