My body is 29 percent fat. If I were the United States, landmass wise, my body fat would be represented by Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Arkansas, Connecticut and all of the Aleutian Islands.
I blame Michelle Obama for this. Had I not paid any attention to the new MyPlate created to replace the MyPyramid – which, in turn, replaced the food pyramid of 1980, I would not have realized just how fat I am.
My children likewise would not have known how fat I am and told their friends and neighbors, also my friends and neighbors as it turns out. Thanks to Michelle Obama and those at the USDA, we all know how fat I am.
Someone my age and weight, which shall remain the only information not shared here, should have a Body Mass Index of 25. Apparently, I enjoyed healthy BMI for only several short years in my youth. As per the chart, I jumped from twig status in ninth grade to overweight-nigh-upon-obese in a mere four years. I understand the BMI has its limits and BMI recommendations differ based on gender and other variables.
I don’t remember being overweight. In college I was considered thin. I was the sprightly modern dance in my group. I was the one tied down in case of wind. I wore quaint waist sized pants, like medium.
What a difference 30 pounds makes.
Comparing what my family eats to what Michelle Obama makes for the family, grains, fruits and veggies are pretty low on the Cheney family totem pole. Pre-prepared foods like pizza, pot pies and microwaveable dinners are high on our purchase lists. I throw a helping of frozen peas and think I have done my job. Then we all eat pie.
Frozen burritos or cheese fries are dinner. Corn on the cob we do for a week out of the year when the small garden we have looks ready to harvest and I run to the store to buy corn because I didn’t plant right – something to do with cross-pollination and planting I grouped instead of using rows – but don’t tell my wife.
The bottom line is I have failed at being the cooking dad. Based on the charts, plates and occasional pyramid, my family should have simultaneously withered into nothing and burst into fatness. Is it the vitamins I force down my family’s throat that keeps us from being mutants?
The new plate could be a disaster if I sit it there on the table during dinner time and make everyone feel guilty when the portions don’t match and we are eating too much yellow – cheesy potatoes, corn and corn dogs, wouldn’t you know – all in one yellow plate. So, I won’t use any guilt. Tomorrow we will simply go for something green – like a salad with avocados and green onions – and the next day we will have something red like beets and cherry Jell-O surprise with whatever berry we have, and lasagna. Red, red and more red.
The good part of this MyPlate idea is we are paying attention a bit more. We are learning about moderation, which seems to be the key we have been missing during three pizza burrito fests of yore.
There are a few things I would like to change a bit, MyPlate-wise. My kids think the glass of milk next to the plate means milk, but it can also suggest yogurt, cheese or cottage cheese, and other dairy. With that one exception, my family had no problem figuring out what the simple charts and graphs meant when it came to dinnertime – a decided improvement over the previous pyramids – mainly because it uses a visual people can relate to when they sit down to eat. The measurements of past attempts may have been too much for many to absorb. Covering half your plate with fruits and vegetables is a much simpler concept.
MyPlate has already made an impact on my family’s healthy eating habits because we have chosen to use it as a guide. The USDA believes that new tool can be a way to simply help individuals and families make healthier meal choices. If it were up to me, I would vote for this pie chart, a more familiar and intuitive metric than the food pyramids
Which reminds me about the pie.
Davison Cheney would kindly ask that you laugh with him and not at him, and see his humorous offerings at davisoncheney.blogspot.com.