How does divorce affect children?
I guess in order to answer that question honestly I’d have to be a product of a divorced family, which I’m not. But both my mother and father’s parents were divorced — one during her youth, the other during his adulthood — and I’ve seen the changes in my parents and the issues they are still dealing with and overcoming to this day.
Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony recently announced the end of their marriage. I know I shouldn’t be surprised. Another day, another Hollywood divorce.
But what if there are kids involved? I can’t help but wonder what this couple’s 3-year-old twins are going to think when they get older. How will it affect them later in their lives? Or will they be brought up to think that marriages can come and go as often as the seasons change?
There are two beautiful young girls I know, each with a different story to tell, and each one is a little different than the other. But they are both products of single-parent homes. One has turned out amazingly well: strong, confident and seemingly the glue that keeps her siblings together, the rope that keeps rebinding her fraying family. Another has had a very difficult life and is still struggling to find herself. Her parents' choices have had a huge impact on her life, and because of this, she’s made some decisions that cost her years of pain and sadness.
I’ve wondered about the difference in these two girls. What is it that made one girl rebel, and the other grow another layer of skin and say, “I’m not letting this determine who I am”?
The end of a family relationship, especially from a child’s perspective, is always troubling. Maybe in some cases it was the right thing to do; maybe in some cases it wasn’t. I think we all have tendencies to be a glass-half-full or glass-half-empty kind of person when it comes to dealing with life’s hard lessons.
I can’t help but wonder if Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony really can comprehend how deeply this decision will impact their sweet little ones, and here’s why: This past Saturday, Anthony made a joke to the audience he was performing for at the SÍmon BolÍvar Metropolitan Park in BogotÁ:
“They’re saying I’m single,” he quipped to the roaring crowd.
Lopez might not be as passive as her future ex-husband; however, she did say that while she and Anthony spent the first part of their marriage doing everything together, they each had an “obligation” to their fans and were going to start focusing once more on their separate and solo careers.
That, to me, seems like a dangerous road to take. Once the focus is off of family, it’s hard to keep anything in perspective.
Have you seen children grow stronger or more troubled because of a divorce? How have they been able to cope?