Whether it's camping or traveling or just getting everyone together in a backyard, family reunions are worth everything you put into them. We just finished our annual summer reunion, and our daughter Saren posted about it on her blog. We have just lifted some of the text from it for our column today because it communicates the magic of families just simply being together:
"Bear Lake means home to me perhaps more than any other place. Growing up, we moved a lot. But summer vacations and now summer reunions at Bear Lake were a staple we could always count on.
"The annual Eyre family reunion started on Wednesday night. This year's reunion has been much like all the others and the sameness is so wonderful. In my current life of constant change, it's so nice to plan on a period of comforting repetition of favorite activities with favorite people.
"Bear Lake is about water and sand and boating and swimming and tennis and eating and talking and playing games and enjoying beauty — and it all adds up to great relationship-building.
"The kids play for hours each day in the sand — engineering dams and castles and simply exploring what happens with various combinations of water, sand and rocks. We usually get a few more grandkids up on waterskis each year and enjoy watching the amazing waterskiing feats of all my siblings and most of the in-laws (somehow I think I missed out on the waterskiing genes). This year there was a bit of a panic involved when we found that our 18-year-old boat wasn't working and seemed hopelessly broken. But my brother Jonah somehow resurrected that thing with his amazing mechanic skills so the waterskiing can still happen. There is the annual family tennis tournament and the occasional temper flare is to be expected with tennis (which is often quite amusing). We have amazing meals (each family takes a turn — and often makes the same favorites several years in a row) and someone bakes cookies pretty much every day (Eyres are all about cookies).
"Storms roll in sometimes in the afternoon and Shawni and Saydi snap tons of pictures to make the most of the "amazing light" until it gets serious and we all frantically gather everything from the beach, then watch the amazing display of intense colors that storms bring out on the lake.
"My dad always wears crazy outfits using outlandish combinations of clothes that have been laying around at the beach house for the last 30 years and he's the sunscreen and life jacket policeman. No matter how much everyone else helps or urges her to sit and relax a bit, my mom is always running around finding ingredients for whoever is cooking or helping with clean-up or doing something else to make life more comfortable and happy for everyone else.
"First thing in the morning, there are always some Eyres out running — such a lovely place to run or bike. In the evenings there are always games going on — speed scrabble is a staple each year.
"Throughout each day here at the lake, you look around to see small groups forming and switching out members as all the adults informally rotate to catch up with everyone else. There are discussions about dreams and ideas to help move each other's ideas forward; discussions about kids and the methods, concerns and triumphs involved with parenthood; discussions about books and movies, worries and fears; and experiences from the past year that range from hilarious to humbling. This year there have been lots of discussions about childbirth and pregnancy since we've got two pregnant sisters-in-law who haven't been feeling very well.
"You also see groups of kids everywhere you look — my dad assigned all the grandkids (there are now 23 counting the two on the way) into groups based on their ages a while back and the kids feel pretty serious loyalty to their groups so they're often playing together and talking together with their 'group.' But often, you see the older kids helping younger kids get some food or play a game or read a book or build a sand castle. I love watching all the different kid interactions and all the clever, cute and sometimes naughty things they say and do. I loved seeing 6-year-old Camden spontaneously comfort 5-year-old Charlie after Camden won the 'group 4' foot race and saw Charlie look so sad at coming in last. I've loved seeing the big cousins baby talk with the babies and the medium cousins read to the toddlers. I loved seeing adults and kids work together in teams on our relay race yesterday, everyone working to find just the right part of the relay to assign to each team member based on their age, abilities and fear factors. I loved seeing Ashton help his little cousin Lucy find her shoes. I loved spying on Oliver, Silas, Charlie and McKay as they sought out and snatched some cookies. I loved seeing Eliza and her cousins Claire and Hazel (group 3 — ages 7 and 8) get so excited about matching French braids and finding swimsuits in coordinating colors. I loved watching my brother Talmadge coach those three little girls as they put together a lip sync to a song from one of our family's favorite songs growing up. I love seeing each 'group' work together diligently to clean up after their assigned meal. They've all been extra good about cleaning up and asking adults for jobs they can do so they can earn more badges on their cool group flags that Aunt Aja made for them this year.
"We always have a talent show that includes everything from lip syncs to somersaults to skits. Another annual tradition is the moonlit bonfire on the beach where the Eyre playlist for the year is unveiled — everyone (kids included) sends in their favorite song of the year and the reunion organizers (a different family is in charge each year) put together a playlist/CD for everyone. At the bonfire, we listen to the beginning of each song and try to guess whose song it is. The playlist becomes the soundtrack for the reunion — with spontaneous dance parties erupting here and there. My favorite reunion tradition of all is the testimony meeting we have on Sunday. We head to the good old Dingle ward which is the closest to "our beach," put all the kids in Primary and nursery then the adults head out to the lawn in the back of the church. The Spirit is thick and the love is tangible as everyone shares a bit about what they've learned from the past year and how their experiences have shaped their understanding of the gospel.
"Reunions are remarkable! Sure, there are babies crying and kids squabbling from time to time — magnified by over-tiredness and off-kilter schedules. There are big messes and lots of mutual toleration involved in so many people sharing a relatively small place and a lot less bathrooms than might be ideal. This year the power went out as everyone was trying to get showered and do their hair for family photos and then it rained like crazy, throwing off the family photo entirely after the scramble to get 40 people dressed and ready. There are plenty of adventures — both fun and frustrating.
"But this feels like heaven to me as I sit here enjoying a gentle breeze and soft sun while typing this post and half-watching the finals of the tennis tournament. Baby Cubby is throwing balls out of his playpen for his cousin Elsie to pick up, and Dave and Eli are talking about what they could have done better in their recent tennis match. Charity and Julie are helping little Lyla come up with something fun to do since tennis isn't keeping her very interested and my mom just walked up with little Charlie in tow, asking what time we should tell Saydi and Jeff that people will be ready for lunch. I just heard cheers from the people in the boat — someone new must have got up on waterskis and someone is driving the old Montero up from the beach with kids hanging all over the back of it. Turns out the cheering was Max getting up on one ski.
"Long live Bear Lake."
The Eyres' next book is "The Entitlement Trap: How to Rescue Your Child With a New Family System of Choosing, Earning, and Ownership." Richard and Linda are New York Times No. 1 best-selling authors who lecture throughout the world on family-related topics. Visit the Eyres anytime at www.TheEyres.com. For information on preordering "The Entitlement Trap," see www.valuesparenting.com.