Amy Stevens and Alisa Snell, two professional dating coaches, were recently featured on Mormon Channel Daily and offered their tips for greater success in dating.
Stevens and Snell, the founders of itsyourtechnique.com, addressed three different demographics of the LDS singles community: those who have been divorced, singles in their 20s, and those in their 30s and beyond.
They encourage listeners to create a “Top 10 list” with characteristics that are nonnegotiable and characteristics that the person may only be working toward but desires to possess.
With years of experience, they address various dating concerns from a faith-based perspective. A few pieces of advice mentioned in the podcast are as follows:
To daters in their 20s: “There’s a lot of pressure once people go from just having fun … to now it’s supposed to be about getting married. And once they make that transition away from it being fun and focus in on getting married, they start to become more paralyzed in the process where they overthink their relationships more. When we overanalyze our dating experiences, we create disconnection not connection.”
To daters in their 30s: “If you expect not to meet anyone, you probably won’t meet anyone, but if you expect that you are going to have opportunities … that the Lord will bless you with those things and you move forward with an eye of faith, that’s when you’re going to find success. The biggest thing that I see is the mindset. We work with clients and teach them a lot of different things, but by far the biggest thing that uncovers the hidden gems is the way that they are thinking about dating and avoiding the thoughts of doubt that the adversary places in their path to cause them to really want to give up on dating.”
To divorced daters: “A big part of what I teach is focused in on empathy, self-control and personal responsibility. Typically when a marriage ends prematurely, it’s because somebody was insufficient in those three areas.”
Editor's note: A previous version of this article reported that Amy Stevens is a marriage and family therapist. She is no longer a licensed therapist, so her title has been updated.