The public marriage proposal trend isn’t new, but it is certainly thriving — especially in light of recent proposals where individuals have faked their deaths, staged a flash mob or created a new crossword puzzle to express their love for their significant others.
While these elaborate and very public proposals thrive on YouTube and in Buzzfeed lists (here, here and here), a new study shows this isn’t what people want from their proposals.
Of the 400 couples Science of Relationships surveyed about their engagements, 69 percent said they would prefer a private engagement. Only 15 percent said a public engagement was the way to go.
SEE MORE: The most scientific way to propose
Public engagements are having their moments, and that is trumping what the person being proposed to wants.
Nine percent of those surveyed said they had received a public proposal but felt a private proposal would have fit them better.
Daisy Buchanan shared the story of her friend’s proposal in an article for The Guardian. The proposal, which involved singing passengers on the London Underground, wasn’t at all what she expected.
“And she admits: ‘When I realised something was going on, my first thought was, ‘I do hope this isn’t a proposal.’ I said, yes, and we’re happily married. But I wish he’d just asked me over dinner,’” Buchanan wrote.
Keep in mind a proposal is most important to the bride and groom-to-be, rather than friends, family, random strangers and people on the Internet, which is what the man in this viral proposal video tried to keep in mind.
Matthew Nimmo proposed to his girlfriend after a romantic walk in the woods during a montage of romantic moments from Disney movies, his bride-to-be’s favorite. While the proposal went viral online, Nimmo said he wasn’t doing it for the recognition.
"I had seen my fair share of extravagant proposals. The goal wasn't to be elaborate, and I didn't want to plagiarise someone else's idea. My intention was to make sure it was authentic and specific to Kylie," Nimmo said. "The lanterns, the Disney sequence film, these things might not mean much to most people, but to Kylie they meant the world."
Some other things Lisa Hoplock, who did the survey, found was that most couples imagined their proposals happening by the water, at home, in a restaurant or on a walk.
Another place people dreamed of being proposed to was an international location (like this one at the Eiffel Tower), but this type of proposal was much rarer and less popular in actuality.
Perhaps the best way to make sure your proposal is perfect for everyone — and to avoid the awkward public rejection — is to be clear and speak with your significant other about it.
"I think that it is important for proposers to talk to their partner in advance to determine whether their partner would prefer a public proposal or a private proposal," Hoplock told Mic. "They can talk about it in advance and still have it be a surprise."
Related links:
10 charts to help you find the perfect engagement ring
Watch this paramedic propose to his girlfriend three years after saving her life
This chart shows your heart rate spikes during a marriage proposal
Shelby Slade is a writer for Deseret News National. Email: sslade@deseretdigital.com, Twitter: shelbygslade.