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Jay's Jokes: On Second Thought

FILE - The Chicago Cubs celebrate after Game 7 of the Major League Baseball World Series against the Cleveland Indians Thursday, Nov. 3, 2016, in Cleveland. The Cubs won 8-7 in 10 innings to win the series 4-3.
FILE - The Chicago Cubs celebrate after Game 7 of the Major League Baseball World Series against the Cleveland Indians Thursday, Nov. 3, 2016, in Cleveland. The Cubs won 8-7 in 10 innings to win the series 4-3.
David J. Phillip, AP

A lighthearted look at news of the day:

The Chicago Cubs won the World Series last week for the first time since 1908. In keeping with that spirit, maybe tomorrow we should re-elect William Howard Taft.

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It’s hard to tell how Taft would do if he had to campaign in 2016, but I’m pretty sure Donald Trump would say he was “Huuuuge!”

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Taft resisted efforts toward free trade and was cozy with big business. He would fit right in today. All he would have to do is choose Chris Christie as his running mate and it would be the biggest thing ever to hit politics.

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The Cubs win the World Series, the presidential campaigns are dominated by two extremely unpopular candidates and seem to be heavily influenced by Russian espionage, without the public getting too upset about that — latest polls show there is a good chance we all fell asleep a year ago and are having the same weird dream.

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The Cubs’ victory could be a signal that 2016 is an unusual year. Let’s just hope it isn’t an omen. The last thing we need is for tomorrow’s election to go into extra innings.

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In perhaps the strangest twist yet in this election, the Libertarian vice presidential candidate, William Weld, told Rachel Maddow on MSNBC that Donald Trump would be “chaos for the country” but that Hillary Clinton is “a person of high moral character,” “reliable” and “honest.” He also criticized the FBI for reopening its investigation of Clinton. It sounds like finding Aleppo isn’t the biggest problem for the Libertarian ticket.

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Imagine if all candidates were as willing as Weld to say nice things about their opponents. Our thumbs would atrophy from not having to hit the mute button during each television commercial break.

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The New York Times says authorities are investigating whether Russians used bribes and corruption to get runners to compete in marathons and track and field events here while using performance-enhancing drugs. First politics, now marathons. Why is it the Russians get away with doping, while all we end up with are the dopes?

Jay Evensen is the senior editorial columnist at the Deseret News. Email him at even@desnews.com. For more content, visit his website, jayevensen.com.