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Jay's Jokes: Pokemon Go claims people walking 5.5 billion miles

File - Spanish fans play the highly addictive Pokemon Go game during a gathering in central Madrid, Spain, Thursday, July 28, 2016, to play the computer game. In the game players try to capture, battle, and train virtual creatures in their real world loca
File - Spanish fans play the highly addictive Pokemon Go game during a gathering in central Madrid, Spain, Thursday, July 28, 2016, to play the computer game. In the game players try to capture, battle, and train virtual creatures in their real world locations using the GPS and camera on their smart devices. Pokemon Go claims the people who play its game have walked a combined 5.5 billion miles since last summer. That’s why a familiar Christmas carol was altered this year to, “I wonder as you wander.
AP

A lighthearted look at news of the day

To the surprise and shock of many, the Electoral College elected Donald Trump president last week despite several clever campaigns. And, as if to prove the president-elect’s point, a few of the electors did try to vote illegally.

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The next #neverTrump strategy? Getting 2017 officially renamed 2016, so we can do the election all over again.

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Several Democratic electors were even so upset at the election of Trump they decided to send a clear message by not voting for Hillary Clinton.

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One elector in Maine tried to vote for Bernie Sanders in order to encourage young voters, and to teach them that rules don’t matter.

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Along those same lines, Utahns are so upset with Obamacare that almost 145,000 of them decided to sign up this year in protest.

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Wait until you see how many people go to after-Christmas sales today to protest commercialism.

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See how this works? Now I’m going to protest narcolepsy by taking a nap.

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Pokemon Go claims the people who play its game have walked a combined 5.5 billion miles since last summer. That’s why a familiar Christmas carol was altered this year to, “I wonder as you wander.”

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Fans of the game say it has gotten tons (literally) of young people moving again, giving them valuable exercise. Also, they have captured 88 billion Pokemon that otherwise would be infesting the earth.

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Appropriately, Merriam-Webster named “surreal” the word of the year for 2016, although “unpresidented” came in a close second, hampered only by the fact it isn’t a real word, yet.

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Trump originally tweeted that China’s capture of a U.S. underwater drone was “unpresidented.” American security and intelligence personnel say it was all a simple typo. What he should have said was, “Using tweets for sensitive diplomatic matters is unpresidential.”

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Actually, the way English evolves, this could soon be a real word. Look for it in 2020, as in, “The Electoral College met Monday and unpresidented the winner.”