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On Second Thought: The Whopperito may make America great again

House Speaker Paul Ryan said Donald Trump’s verbal attack on a judge of Hispanic descent was a “textbook definition” of racism. I’m guessing that textbook isn’t required at Trump University.
House Speaker Paul Ryan said Donald Trump’s verbal attack on a judge of Hispanic descent was a “textbook definition” of racism. I’m guessing that textbook isn’t required at Trump University.
J. Scott Applewhite, Associated Press

A lighthearted look at news of the day

House Speaker Paul Ryan said Donald Trump’s verbal attack on a judge of Hispanic descent was a “textbook definition” of racism. I’m guessing that textbook isn’t required at Trump University.

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Hillary Clinton finally won enough delegates last week to secure the Democratic nomination. She will be the first woman to represent the party’s institution in November, unless federal investigators decide she belongs in a different institution.

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Bernie Sanders, meanwhile, has vowed to stay in the race until Vermont is declared the independent nation of Bernietopia.

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Education will be free for all in Bernietopia, but math will not be required, especially if it involves counting delegates.

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Two new studies last week found that obesity is growing among Americans, but especially among women. This may be because no one has figured out yet how to tell the women.

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The Journal of the American Medical Association lamented that Americans are getting fatter despite hundreds of millions of dollars being spent on programs, medicines and research to stop the increase. Well, of course. Why spend hundreds of millions when you can get a Burger King Whopperito so much cheaper?

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The Whopperito is a combined Whopper hamburger and burrito. Who says America isn’t still great?

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Workers in Britain were removing a chimney recently when they discovered a letter written to Santa Claus 91 years ago. The child who wrote it asked for a Fort, cannon, box of soldiers, Indian, chocolate, boat, book and handkerchiefs. I must admit handkerchiefs is an odd request, although plenty of grownups will be asking for them this year after November’s elections.

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Oddly, the same workers also found a letter from the Utah Republican Party, vowing to fight SB54 no matter how long it takes.

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SB54 is the state law that allows candidates to get on a primary ballot in Utah through a petition process, even if the candidate doesn’t gain the support of state party delegates. Despite losing a court challenge, the party vows to fight on. I’ll put it this way: The fight hasn’t quite gone on for 91 years, but if the Zika virus is half this resilient, we’re all in trouble.

Jay Evensen is the senior editorial columnist at the Deseret News. Email him at even@desnews.com. For more content, visit his website, jayevensen.com.