I still remember the first time I looked into my daughter’s eyes. She was my firstborn and I had plans to give her the very best life possible. In addition to encouraging her to participate in activities and programs that would help her to excel, I planned to do everything in my power to protect her from any and all negative experiences.

She grew up fast and now, 16 years later, I have a daughter who is smart, talented, and, like others her age, she is interested in dating. This scares me.

It scares me, mostly, because I don’t want her to get hurt — emotionally, physically or sexually.

As a parent, I must do my part to teach her that emotional, physical and sexual abuse is not acceptable in any relationship. In addition, I must find others who will help share this message in schools, churches, workplaces and other venues where children, teens and families gather. I must also speak up, on behalf of my daughter and thousands of other daughters, sisters, aunts, mothers and grandmothers, when I know proposed sexual assault and domestic violence legislation would do more damage than good.

Of the several hundred proposed bills being considered during the current legislative session, there are several bills with language specific to guns and domestic violence. Equipping young women and men with weapons, specifically firearms, in an effort to provide them protection from assaults is a mistake. Firearms and domestic violence, in particular, are a fatal combination.

Working in the social services field, I am frequently exposed to violence. I have met countless individuals who will forever be haunted by the abuse and violence they have experienced, responded to or witnessed. When guns are involved, the abuse and violence is always far more severe and homicides are far more likely. Law enforcement officials who are called out to a scene involving a firearm know that the likelihood of someone getting shot is great. That “someone” could be the victim(s), the perpetrator or the officer(s). It isn’t uncommon for children to be present in these situations and, as we’ve all seen or read about in the news, in addition to taking the life of an adult, perpetrators have often taken the lives of children — their own children, before turning the gun on themselves or others.

Domestic violence impacts all of us, and anyone can be a victim of domestic or intimate partner violence. Alarmingly, one in three women experience domestic or intimate partner violence in their lifetime. For at least the past 10 years, Utah’s intimate partner homicide rate has been close to half of all homicides in the state. In several years, between 2000 and 2015, a family member, cohabitant or intimate partner perpetrated more than half of homicides. Men were the perpetrators in 88 percent of domestic violence related murders in Utah, and the majority of them used a firearm, had a criminal domestic violence history, and should have been restricted from firearms.

View Comments

As a parent of a 16-year-old daughter, all of this terrifies me. My daughter will always be my little girl and, as her parent, I will always advocate for her protection. The age-old Saturday morning message, “knowledge is power,” rings true to this day. Instead of arming our children with weapons, we must arm them with knowledge. We must fund prevention and education programs that promote healthy behaviors and we must also fund crisis and support services so that, if our children do need help, they can receive it immediately.

Nearly 17 years ago, I looked into my daughter’s eyes and promised her a lifetime of happiness. My hope is that I can return home today, look into her eyes, and tell her that the state of Utah has acted on behalf of her and others by supporting and passing legislation to fund prevention and support, and that the state of Utah does not rely on guns as a solution to a problem that has already been exacerbated by firearms.

Too many daughters have lost their lives to domestic and intimate partner violence. Guns and domestic violence are a bullet we must dodge and, more importantly, we must prevent.

Jenn Oxborrow is executive director of the Utah Domestic Violence Coalition (udvc.org). For free and confidential help and support for victims and survivors of domestic violence available 24/7, please call 1-800-897-LINK (5465).

Looking for comments?
Find comments in their new home! Click the buttons at the top or within the article to view them — or use the button below for quick access.