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Jay's Jokes: What the solar eclipse is really all about, and why we need glasses for it

A dog is given protective glasses by its owner prior to the solar eclipse in Regent's Park in London, Friday, March 20, 2015. Unfortunately due to heavy cloud cover, the eclipse was not visible in London.
A dog is given protective glasses by its owner prior to the solar eclipse in Regent's Park in London, Friday, March 20, 2015. Unfortunately due to heavy cloud cover, the eclipse was not visible in London.
Kirsty Wigglesworth, AP

A lighthearted look at news of the day

You have to give Donald Trump credit. For years, people have talked about the need for a national dialog on race, but he's the first president to give us a real conversation starter.

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Conservationists cleaning old buildings in Antarctica found a 106-year-old fruitcake left by an ill-fated expedition headed by Robert Falcon Scott in 1911. Officials said the cake still smells OK and appears to be almost edible, which doesn't explain how they knew it was older than any other fruitcake.

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Smithsonian magazine says the fruitcake isn't the oldest one in existence. Apparently, a family in Tecumseh, Mich., has one an ancestor made in 1878 but died before eating. No one had the heart to throw it out or the stomach to digest it. And now that Smithsonian has written about it, the family can't even gift it to anyone for the holidays.

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Today is the day Americans will don their super-dark sunglasses, and thankfully not to protect them as they look toward Guam.

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No, today is the day a solar eclipse will blot out 91 percent of the sun for a while in Salt Lake City, making it that much easier for you to sleep at your desk.

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Kim Jong-un blinked first in the showdown over his stated intention to fire test missiles toward Guam. That's a good thing, because it saves the U.S. government from having to bring out those old "duck and cover" movies about how to stay safe in a nuclear attack.

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Kim Jong-un may have backed down this time, but the North Korean leader remains a threat to peace. Word is U.S. officials have several options to consider, including cyber-attacks that could wipe out North Korea's computer (which sits in Kim's office and has Amazon's NBA replica jerseys page bookmarked), or they could infiltrate the country with propaganda. If things get really bad, they always have that fruitcake in Michigan as a secret weapon.