A lighthearted look at news of the day:
The federal government shutdown lasted about as long as it takes to reboot a computer. Unfortunately, when everything came back up, the viruses still remained.
The next reboot is scheduled for Feb. 8. As with most of these things, they’d probably do better having a 12-year-old come over to look at the problem.
Utah lawmakers began their 2018 session last week. I don’t want to say the Democratic delegation is small, but visitors to galleries at the capitol are being given special glasses for viewing them.
This year, lawmakers will consider a bill allowing counties to remove elected officials who are mentally unfit for office. But don’t worry; they still would be eligible to run for legislative office.
Lawmakers also want to reduce the number of days Utahns are allowed to accidentally set fire to their homes each July.
A better solution to the fireworks problem would be to move Independence Day to January.
Lawmakers also are entertaining a bill that would move Utah into the Central Time Zone, just to make life easier on travelers. The bill doesn’t specify, but I assume the year would remain 2018.
Mitt Romney is expected to announce his candidacy for the Senate this week, launching what may be the most difficult campaign since the U.S. invaded Grenada.
The French are rioting, literally, over jars of Nutella, which a large supermarket chain discounted by 70 percent. Punches are being thrown. The elderly are being tossed aside. The fear is that this will spread — and it spreads nicely on toast, by the way.
Officials in India are getting ready to clean the Taj Mahal for the first time in 369 years. Enterprising husbands everywhere will clip that story and pull it out next Saturday morning. “See, honey? What’s the hurry with all these cleaning projects?”