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Jay Evensen: What Brazilian officials captured on camera might surprise you

This April 18, 2015 aerial photo shows the Nanay River winding through Peru's Amazon jungle near Iquitos.
This April 18, 2015 aerial photo shows the Nanay River winding through Peru's Amazon jungle near Iquitos.
Rodrigo Abd, AP

A lighthearted look at news of the day:

Officials in Brazil have taken aerial images of a remote tribe in the Amazon that apparently is completely isolated from the outside world. On closer examination, however, they seem to be former mainstream Republicans in search of free trade policies.

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In Brazil, authorities are trying to be extremely cautious about isolated tribes. They don’t wish to contaminate tribal cultures in any way. Right now, researchers are particularly intrigued by how tribal members seem to worship drone-like figures in the sky with cameras attached.

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The tribes also seem to be baffled as to why so many items labeled for return to Amazon are delivered to them daily.

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My theory is that some day we will discover researchers from these tribes secretly studying the primitive cultures of the mainstream world.

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Now that his former attorney has implicated him, President Trump suddenly remembers making payments to a porn star to keep her quiet about an affair, but he says the payments were legal. Remember when Mitt Romney was attacked for innocently referring to his binders full of women? Seems like a million years ago, doesn’t it?

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Two Republican senators have come up with a novel idea for funding maternity leave. Rather than requiring companies to provide it, workers could dip into their future Social Security retirement benefits and take some time off now. What a brilliant idea. Given Social Security’s trajectory with insolvency, it’s sort of like enjoying a batch of cookie dough today by agreeing to delay eating the cookies you planned to bake from that dough tomorrow.

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If you think the federal government is the only one with nutty economic ideas, the city of Chicago has decided the best way to deal with its under-funded pension problem is to borrow more money. The city hopes it can leverage a $10 billion bond to make so much in investments that it can save the fund, which is $28 billion in debt because officials in the past were too optimistic about investments. Hmm.

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If this idea passes, Chicago ought to call it the “Making Puerto Rico not feel so alone” strategy.