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Jay Evensen: Cellphone use could lead to humans growing horns, but why not antennae?

FILE - This Aug. 1, 2017, file photo, shows a call log displayed via an AT&T app on a cellphone in Orlando, Fla. New tools are coming to help fight robocall scams, but don’t expect unwanted calls to disappear. (AP Photo/John Raoux, File)
This Aug. 1, 2017, file photo, shows a call log displayed via an AT&T app on a cellphone in Orlando, Fla.
John Raoux

A lighthearted look at the news of the day:

President Trump opened his 2020 campaign for reelection last week by giving a talk straight out of the 2016 election, including the idea of locking up Hillary Clinton. Joe Biden seems to be stuck in a 1960s civil rights campaign against Southern Democrats and Bernie Sanders is promising a chicken in every pot and a Model T in every driveway. The stock market, meanwhile, keeps partying like it’s early 1929. If you think you’ve seen this movie before, be careful. I’m not sure movies have been invented, yet.

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Add to all of this the brewing tensions with Iran, and we’re just a crew cut away from having almost every decade of the 20th century represented in one modern newscast.

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Meanwhile, Roy Moore has announced he will run for the Senate from Alabama again next year, and he’s hopeful Joe Biden will want to negotiate with him.

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Researchers at the University of the Sunshine Coast in Australia say they have evidence that excessive cellphone use will lead to horn-like protrusions in the back of the skull. Soon we’ll be able to gore people who interrupt us in the middle of Candy Crush.

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Maybe humans actually are growing antennae, which would come in handy for those smartphone implants we’re all going to get in the future.

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House Democrats tried to compel former White House communications director Hope Hicks to testify last week, but she claimed she had immunity. People who are upset with the anti-vaccine crowd in cities nationwide should come to Washington. It seems like everyone there is immune.

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CBS News aired a 3-minute video from a drone flying over Utah’s Canyonlands National Park, which was meant to relieve stress. It’s all a matter of perspective, however. If you watch the video while imagining yourself hanging on a rope from the bottom of an airplane, it might not be as relaxing.

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My favorite part of the video is when the drone accidentally crosses into Iranian airspace.