SALT LAKE CITY — Paul D. Parkinson and his daughter Sammie searched the country for 18 months, beginning in June 2018, to find unselfish kids, focusing on grade schoolers. They wanted to figure out why some kids put others first, but they also wanted to celebrate the fact that even little kids can change lives.
The resulting book, “Unselfish Kids,” features children like Sandro Cunningham, 7, who collected more than 1,000 coats, then with his dad created a public coat rack in Trenton, New Jersey, where anyone who needs one can take one; and Khloe Thompson, 9, who saw people who are homeless on her way to school in Los Angeles and decided with her grandmother to sew handbags that could be filled with items like soap and toothpaste, then given to those in need. Ella Tryon, 6, of Cleveland, Ohio collected more than 40,000 boxes of crayons for children’s hospitals after she was a patient who couldn’t color because her hospital didn’t have any crayons.
Parkinson, of Logan, Utah, and his wife Rebecca have six children, ages 11 to 26. Sammie, 23, who lives in Provo, Utah, is the only girl. She took time off from Utah Valley University to do humanitarian work in Thailand and Fiji and find stories for the book, which was released Dec. 3. As for the future, Sammie said she’s deciding if she’s going back to school or trying to turn humanitarian work into a full-time pursuit.
Despite writing books and tackling other media projects, the senior Parkinson works full-time for Philips, a health care products company. He previously wrote “Unselfish: Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Selfie” and says his passion is creating media that shapes culture positively, including the film “Nowhere Safe” about cyberbullying, which he wrote and produced.
Paul and Sammie Parkinson recently talked to the Deseret News about what makes some kids so caring — and how parents can encourage it. The interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Deseret News: Have you always cared about humanitarian work?
Sammie Parkinson: My parents taught me by example to do kind things. When I was in middle school, my dad always asked me, ‘How did you serve someone today?’ Or ‘Did you sit by someone at lunch that didn’t have a friend?’ I think that was what sparked it initially. But when I was in college, I started taking classes that were progressing me in the direction of serving others, so that’s kind of when I thought maybe humanitarian work would be a good way to do that.
DN: Do you see a common thread among unselfish kids?
SP: I think that each child is born inherently kind. As they’re put into society, their surroundings change them. These kids are incredibly kind and amazing, but they have supportive parents that are leading them by example and pushing them to pursue these desires.
Paul Parkinson: The kids in these stories are elementary age. To use the term childlike would seem obvious, but they all want to do good. I think it’s not so much they want publicity — some of these stories were unknown — but they are in families that inherently want to do good.
DN: What have you learned about kindness?
SP: The biggest lesson is that even a small act of kindness can go a long way. I think as a society we all want to serve or be good in some way, but we think we have to do something big and if we don’t do something big then it’s not going to make a difference. There are quite a few in here that started nonprofits or organizations. But I think the ones that really stand out are the ones that are really small, a simple act of kindness. For example, there’s a little boy named Maurice Adams. He and his mom were on the way home from a high school graduation and he saw an old lady trying to walk up some stairs. ‘Mom, stop!’ He jumped out and helped her. One small deed can do so much and creates a ripple effect. People see that and want to do that as well.
There’s a quote in the book by Edward Everett Hale that says, ‘I am only one. But I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. Because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.’ That’s what we hope people will take from the book. Start small. Simple things can go a long way.
DN: Do you have stories you will carry forward with you?
PP: There are two stories that really speak to me in that regard. One is about a young boy at a professional football game. He saw another boy wandering around, crying. He couldn’t find his dad. So the boy said come sit by me until they find your dad and put his arm around him and comforted him. They’re both of a different race. The beautiful thing is, kids don’t see that until we tell them about it or teach them about it. They don’t see races or nationality or whatever it might be.
A young girl, 4, Norah Wood, was grocery shopping with her mom. She saw this elderly gentleman who didn’t like to shop. She jumped in front of him and said, ‘Hi old person. It’s my birthday today!’ She gave him a big hug. He was so surprised. The man said it was the first time in six months he felt any joy; his wife passed away six months earlier. Now the girl and her mom visit this man every week and she has become like a granddaughter to him.
DN: How do parents raise unselfish kids?
PP: I think there is probably not one right answer. Certainly modeling unselfish behavior is one of the most obvious. Our society has become a lot about the individual: being the best athlete, being the best student. And those things are so time-consuming that a child could spend an entire childhood bettering their own talents in those areas. As a parent, I think we have to step back and make sure we spend time developing the talent of kindness in our children. I hope we put that idea in people’s minds. The boy who plays the piano at a care center — that’s something I can do. Here’s my talent, here’s how I can use it. I think it’s parents talking to children and pointing out ways and giving them opportunities.