A lighthearted look at the news of the day:
This is the week when Americans will welcome back the Roaring ’20s, only this time much of the nation looks like Babe Ruth and very few people are willing to be as quiet as Calvin Coolidge.
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Could you imagine President Coolidge with a Twitter account? He’d be the only one complaining that he’s allowed too many characters.
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Could you imagine “Coolidge for president” campaign commercials on TV? They’d be so quiet and thoughtful that … come to think of it, maybe we should imagine Coolidge running again.
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I can never figure out whether people are so giddy on New Year’s Eve because the new year is coming or because the old year is going. Let’s see, we lost Notre Dame, had a spate of mass shootings and endured a House impeachment process in 2019; but next year we get to have the 2020 elections. Is there a third option?
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The trick to making a good New Year’s resolution is to keep things realistic and achievable. So, resolve to gain 20 pounds by summer. Think of the confidence you’ll feel in a job well done.
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In addition to making resolutions, people like to predict the future at the start of a new year. I will refrain from predicting the outcome of the 2020 election. I’ll leave that to the experts in Russia.
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In 1905, a scientist predicted it would one day be possible to send an electronic handshake over airwaves, allowing people to actually feel the touch of a distant human. This would be followed quickly by the first electronically transmitted flu virus.
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China scored one of the biggest news stories of 2019 when it landed an unmanned spacecraft on the far side of the moon, where astronauts discovered cheaper parking.
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Organizers of the annual Burning Man event in Nevada are suing the BLM for charging them excessive fees. I think there should be an extra fee attached to any event unless its reason for existing can be explained in 25 words or less.