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Letter: The morning my wife and I listened to each other

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A primary ballot is dropped off at Murray City Hall in Murray on Tuesday, June 30, 2020.

Jeffrey D. Allred, Deseret News

Early one November morning, my wife and I were driving to vote in the first national election since our marriage. We were newlyweds with little experience navigating sticky political conversations. As we drove we debated which presidential candidate we would vote for. I was arguing for one candidate, and she was arguing for another. I’m sure the tone was civil, but we got nowhere with each other. We pulled up to the polling location, eventually exhausted our arguments, and went in to vote.

As we quietly waited in line I got to thinking about my wife’s arguments. As usual, she made very good points. I have greatly respected her views, knowing her to be a thoughtful and wonderful person.

In those last moments before I entered the booth, I decided she was right; I cast my vote for her candidate. Back at the car I told her I voted for her candidate. I’m sure a smile crossed her face as she told me she voted for the candidate I had been supporting.

It’s hard to describe the good feeling we had as we drove home. We learned that we really did respect the other’s opinion and were listening to one other.

Of course, we don’t need to change our votes in order to show our family we care about and respect their views. But if we consider the opinions of others as based in good will and a genuine desire for the good of our country, we become bound together with love and respect.

It’s not simple, and my wife and I have had plenty of poorly managed disagreements. But even though one of our candidates lost in that election years ago, our marriage won. We were of two candidates, but we managed to be of one heart and mind.

Justin Dyer