If the only reason you plan to watch NBC's An Eight Is Enough Wedding Sunday is to see how the old cast has held up in the eight years since the series went off the air, or in the two years since their last reunion show, be sure to tune into Ch. 2 promptly at 8 p.m.
Everybody walks into Tom Bradford's Sacramento Register office for a stockholders' meeting - the Bradfords somehow have found the resources to own the newspaper - and you can check out how each family member now looks as the opening credits roll. Then, you can change channels and not feel sick about it in the morning.Stick around after that first glimpse of the Bradford clan, however, and not only will your memories of the admittedly saccharine series be soured, you will be haunted by the guilt of encouraging Hollywood to continue churning out these turgid reunion shows.
Will "A Very Brady Rosh Hashana" be far behind? It's almost too horrible to consider. Then again, so is "An Eight Is Enough Wedding."
Terms such as "Bradford tradition," "Bradford nature" and "the Bradford way" are tossed about with annoying regularity.
The story seems to be little more than an excuse to get the family members into familiar situations, the heart-to-heart chats that made the original show, to an extet at least, endearing.
None of it fits anymore, though. If Tom Bradford were such a good father, you would think the kids would have grown up a little by now.
Poor Tom Braden. Not only has he recently lost his CNN gig as commentator on "Crossfire," he no longer will be able to recognize his family. As you may know, Braden is the newspaperman and college instructor whose 1975 book about his burgeoning family was the basis for the original ABC series two years later. Only the surname was changed, but things apparently have gotten ugly since then.
Tom Jr. (Willie Aames) is a high-powered music manager - in Sacramento? - with improbably long hair. His hero is Ivan Boesky, and there is a phone permanently attached to his ear. He doesn't seem to know the difference between being an agent and being a pimp. His comeuppance can only be two hours away, though.
Little Nicholas (Adam Rich) is now a not-so-cute 18, and he has blown his college scholarship by partying too much. Although his family obviously can afford to send him to school, he can't bring himself to tell Dad (Dick Van Patten) and is searching for ways to pay for his education. Care to bet Dad eventually will find out anyway?
The Bradford daughters - Mary (Lani O'Grady), Joanie (Laurie Walters), Nancy (Dianne Kay), Susan (Susan Richardson) and Elizabeth (Connie Needham) - are all happily married. They, and oldest son David's ex-wife, Janet (Joan Prather), are unsettled by the news David (Grant Goodeve) plans to marry another woman, ostensibly providing the excuse for this extravaganza.
About the only regular from the old show who doesn't come off badly in "An Eight Is Enough Wedding" is Betty Buckley, who found something better to do and was replaced as Tom Bradford's second wife, Abby, by Sandy Faison (Molly's sister on "The Days and Nights of Molly Dodd").
As for "Eight Is Enough" reunions, one apparently was plenty.